I Don't Want To Give Up
by PrettyinPink33
Summary: UPDATED! "Please, if there is a God out there, just please-" Jackie covered her mouth, trying to stifle her sobs. "Just let us all get through this." Jackie and Hyde have been forced to believe that when you're happy, it's not going to last very long. An angsty story. Secrets will be revealed, relationships will change, and faith and trust will be tested. J/H and D/E
1. You Can't Always Get What You Want

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own "That 70s' Show" or the characters. But if I did, I would be pregnant with Steven Hyde's baby by now.**

**Hey, Guys! This is my very first FanFiction. I'm very excited to show this to you guys. It will be sort of a dark story, with a lot of bad things happening. But it will see brighter days, and in the end, you'll love this story, I hope! This is my first chapter, and I'm planning to update tomorrow. Thank you! **

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Jackie opened her eyes and briefly looked around the room to check her surroundings. Suprisingly, she did that every morning. For some reason she didn't know where she was every time she woke up, whether it be a nap or a full 8 hours of beauty sleep. Maybe it was because she was never sure about anything in her life.

Right now, Jackie Burkhart was in her bed, in her room, in her one-bedroom apartment. She was never the type to live in a place smaller than a garage. She would probably never be fully accustomed to it, but it would have to do for now. She loved how her boyfriend finally stepped up and started a real future with her. However, thinking about never sleeping with him on the little cot in Eric's basement made her sick to her stomach. Well, they could've slept in it now if they had wanted to, but that was what made it different. Although back then, they probably wanted to sleep anywhere _but_ in the dingy basement. It's funny how you always want what you don't have.

"Selfishness" is what Steven called it. She remembered sitting on the old couch in the basement when Steven went rambling about life and what was wrong with their society.

_"So? What does it matter? People get what they want, and they want more. I don't see what's wrong with that."_

_"Because," he said,"From birth we've been taught by society to never be happy. To always want more."_

_Jackie rolled her eyes at her boyfriend. "The more the merrier, Steven," She flipped her hair off her shoulder with a smug smile on her face, "More is better."_

_Hyde scoffed and changed the channel on the TV. His girlfriend could be so shallow. She didn't understand it. No matter how hard he tried to teach her, she just wouldn't get it._

_ Hyde leaned forward in his seat and cleared his throat, taking another approach. "In everybody's life, there's gonna be a point where they wish they weren't selfish. They're gonna wish they had what they used to, even if they were complaining about it when they had it. Happiness never lasts for long, so make the most of it."_

_"What do you mean happiness never lasts for long?" She asked, confused._

_Steven shifted in his seat. "One thing you're gonna have to learn, princess, is that sadness is only the lack of happiness."_

_"No shit, Steven." Jackie said sarcastically._

_He raised his eyebrow, "One day, you're gonna look back. You're gonna look back and think 'Wow, I was so happy back then'. But you weren't. Because you wanted more."_

She stretched like a cat and looked at the sleeping figure next to her. Steven Hyde's quiet snores filled the room. Although she always pretended to hate it and frequently complained about it to her boyfriend, she secretly liked the snoring. Whenever she was scared at night, she would just stop and pay attention to the soft snores coming from Steven's nose. It filled the silence.

She remembered the fight she had with Steven last night just as she was about to give him a kiss good morning.

Things between her and Steven weren't going very well. She tried her best. She made sure she was the best girlfriend. But something was off between them.

_"I don't give a shit, Jackie!" Steven was sitting on the couch nursing a beer. He was tired. Not physically tired. Emotionally. He was tired of arguing. Tired of battling._

_"Of course you don't. All you care about is getting high and getting drunk." She didn't sound angry, she sounded scared. Scared of the future, maybe? Or was it the past? _

_Her voice was trembling._

_Steven stood up abruptly. "Can you just stop? Can you just fucking let it go? I said I was sorry."_

_"Sorry isn't enough." Jackie said seriously, "It never is." They had just gotten home from the basement and they had been fighting since they walked out of the door. Jackie was tired of Steven. Tired of feeling like he liked Donna better. Like she wasn't enough._

_"Then I don't know what you want from me!" Hyde forcefully ran his hand down his face. The TV flickered across his solemn face._

_"I want you to tell me the truth." Jackie placed a hand on her hip and waited._

_"I'm not cheating on you, Jackie! Don't you get it?" He looked pissed. She looked confused._

_"I didn't say that. I'm saying I want to know how you feel about her."_

_"She's my friend. She's been my friend for years. I was just talking to her. I can't talk?"_

_"Not about fucking sex, Steven!"_

_"Trust me; I think I've forgotten what sex feels like. The conversation couldn't have been that explicit."_

_If Michael were there, she would've expected a "BURN!"_

She laid back and focused on Steven's snoring. Now, however, it wasn't silencing the terror playing in her mind.

She hadn't told anyone about the pain for two reasons: one, it was embarrassing to talk about health problems that came from, well, _down there._ And two: she was afraid. Not afraid of something wrong with her. Not afraid of the pain that always lingered in between her legs.

No, it was the consequences and the pain that _other_ people would feel if something was really wrong with her. Because she had to do a lot of explaining if there was something wrong. But whatever the reason why, it didn't matter: she was afraid.

Jackie Burkhart was not one to be afraid. She remembered being really frightened only three times in her life. The first was when her parents first left her at the same time and she was truly alone. The second was a memory she would rather not recall. And now, she felt afraid of what would happen to her boyfriend if _something_ were to happen to her.

Because something was wrong. Something was very wrong. There was a sharp pain in between her legs.

She knew why and she was scared to death.

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**So how'd you guys like it? Give me a review! Please give me suggestions and comments. ALL REVIEWS WILL BE READ. :)**


	2. I'm Gonna Give All My Secrets Away

**DISCLAIMER: I totally own 'That '70s Show'. Just kidding.**

**A few swear words here and there. Watch out.**

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Jackie woke up for the second time that morning after having accidentally fallen asleep. She turned and saw that Steven had left, probably to hang out with Michael or Fez.

'Good,' she thought. 'Run away from your problems. Run away before I wake up, and reality wakes you up.'

She swung her legs out of bed and examined her room. Their small closet was about 95% of Jackie's clothes, shoes and accessories. On the top shelf she saw the teddy bear Steven had won for her at FunLand. "Well," he had said, walking over to her with the bear in his arms. "Whenever you remember that life with me consists of extreme let-downs and weed, just remember this bear. Give it a cute name, like, 'Disappointment'." She had laughed. That was when they were happier. When there were no worries.

On their dresser was a bunch of junk, like one of Jackie's old headbands, a bottle of cheap cologne, and a stack of papers for 'The Grooves'.

Jackie stood up, walked to the kitchen and poured herself some coffee. She wasn't usually a coffee person, but lately she craved it. No, not craved it. She needed it. Otherwise she'd probably pass out for days, it seemed.

She decided she'd go to the basement, and if Steven wasn't there, she'd hang out with Michael and Fez and try to avoid Donna. Donna never really came around anymore, anyways. She usually just went out to bars. Or talked to Steven.

_January 15, 1980: Point Place Wisconsin_

_She got up in the bigger girls face, even though she was really short._

_"Listen to me," she whispered. "Don't you ever talk to me again. Do not look at me, do not talk to me, do not fucking think about me!" The bigger girl started sobbing._

_"What do you want me to do, Jackie?" said the bigger girl in between sobs. "Just tell me and I'll make it up to you."_

_Still using her frightening whispery voice, the smaller girl gritted her teeth. "I want you to give to me what I deserve. I want you to do what's right, what's right for _me_. Not for that piece of trash. You stood there and watched, Donna! You. Just. Watched." She turned and walked away, but not before feeling the gash on her forehead._

Ever since that day, everything changed. It was so funny how one day things can be going so well. And the next day it's all gone. It just slips through your hands like sand.

She and Donna didn't really talk anymore. They were respectful with each other, but whenever they were in the same room, everyone could feel the tension. Michael, Fez, Red, and even Kitty didn't know why. All they knew was that something happened on January 10, 1980, that caused one of their friends to move away, and the two girls to act like they had never been friends. No one knew though. No one except Jackie, Donna, and a boy named Eric Forman.

Jackie grabbed her coat off the chair, took her keys, and got in the car. Wherever Steven went today, he had walked. She was half glad half worried. Glad because it was freezing outside and she didn't want to walk and worried because it was freezing outside and Steven was walking.

Jackie put her keys in the ignition and started driving. She was going to go get some gas before she went to the Formans'. Probably so she could put the visit off.

_July 15, 1980: Point Place, Wisconsin_

_"Hello?"_

_"Jackie?"_

_Her breath hitched and she felt her heart stop._

_"Jackie, are you there?"_

_"Yeah, I'm here."_

_"Um, how are you?"_

_"I'm, uh, fine."_

_"I was, kinda hoping to talk to Hyde"_

_"He's at work."_

_"Oh."_

_Jackie closed her eyes and crimson blood filled her imagination as she imagined the worst day of her life. How could he ask how she was? How?_

_"How's everyone at Point Place?"_

_Jackie paused, wondering if she should lie and tell a happy fairytale or just be blunt._

_"Nothing's really been the same since you left."_

_"Huh? Why?"_

_"Why do you think?" She was suddenly almost yelling as anger took over her._

_There was a long silence._

_Finally, he spoke, but his voice was quieter._

_"I thought things would get better after I left."_

_"Well it hasn't Eric. I don't think it ever will."_

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**Please review? Pretty please with a stoned Hyde on top?**


	3. Where Did Our Love Go

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own That '70s Show. If I did, there would be way more episodes featuring a nude Steven Hyde, anyway.**

**Hey Everyone! This is my third chapter, and if you haven't noticed, I've been naming each chapter based on a song I think relates to the chapter. I basically shuffle my iPod ****and look for songs after I write my chapter and try to find a good song to represent the chapter.**

**A special thanks to ShanghaiLily and nannygirl for helping me out, as I'm pretty new here.**

**Enjoy! :)**

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Michael Kelso was a very laid back guy. He, like his friend Fez, was capable of being entertained by the smallest things. He was the person who could have the most fun. He never looked back.

But Michael Kelso was not blind.

Kelso remembered when they were all 16, and Jackie was 15. He remembered when all someone had to do if they had something to say was just simply say it. He remembered when they were young and had the whole world in front of them. There were no worries.

Not like now.

He wasn't sure what happened. He knew that Donna and Jackie had gotten into a fight, and shortly after, Eric left. He remembered a huge gash on Jackie's tiny forehead. He remembered a lot of tears.

And then they grew up.

There wasn't anything in between the two events. At one moment Kelso and Fez were wondering how someone could go through so much pain when they hadn't even fully grown up yet. And then they did.

May 22, 1978: Point Place: Wisconsin

_"Kelso, you are so stupid."_

_The gang was grouped around the Vista Cruiser__. It was late at night, and they had just finished an intense basketball game. Now they were just hanging out and talking._

_"What, all I'm saying is, we don't need a blender! "_

_"Hey! Kelso! Look, it's a dog!" Eric said with a smile plastered on his face._

_Kelso whipped his head to the left. "WHERE?"_

_Kelso's stupidity never failed to make everyone in the room smile. Yeah, they all made fun of him, but in the end, they all loved him. He had the biggest heart of the group._

_Donna looked at her boyfriend and smiled. She looked at the __man__ that she knew since he was a boy. She was amazed by how far they had gone together, and was excited for the future in their hands. Images of a huge home and children filled her head. Donna Pinciotti was happy._

_"You idiot, Michael!" Jackie said haughtily, "They're just trying to mess with you! Ugh, I can't believe I went through the embarrassment of dating you."_

_"There you go, Doll. Emphasize how half of the room feels about you." Hyde gave Jackie a sly smirk, daring her to fight back._

_Jackie tensed up. He could never be nice, could he? He was just making a fool of himself. He thought that after they broke up, everyone would forget how much he loved her, and so he acted like he never did._

_"Shut up, orphan." Jackie gritted her teeth to refrain herself from saying anything more._

_"Ay! You guys!" Fez ran up to the group, smiling, "The Bee Gees are having a concert in the warm tropical paradise of California! We should go!"_

_Jackie squealed. Disco was the best there was._

_"Sure, Fez," Eric said. "Hey! To be completely realistic, let's just grab some luggage, and flap our arms and fly there!"_

_Kelso whipped his head back and forth between Fez and Eric, with his mouth opened in shock._  
_"COOL!"_

_"You stupid! Can you not see that we cannot hold luggage if we are flapping our arms to fly?" Fez rolled his eyes as he was probably thinking that Kelso was actually dumber than him._

_Jackie burst out laughing._

_It didn't get any better than this._

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"Why are you so spiteful?"

"You know why! You know why I feel the way I do. "

"Everyone deserves second chances." She looked around to make sure no one else was present.

"Not for that. There are no second chances for that."

She shifted in her seat uncomfortably.

"I just never thought you would talk about your son like that, Red."

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Steven Hyde walked into the Grooves. The place was packed, and Angie wasn't even here. It was her day off and he knew it would be extremely busy because _Combat Rock _by The Clash was being released today. He didn't have the energy to come today, especially after his fight with Jackie. He sighed, knowing he had to cover for Angie's lazy ass. Thoughts of Jackie plagued his mind as he went to his small little office in the corner of the store.

He would always love her. That was something he realized a long time ago. No matter what, whether they were together or broken up, they would always be crazy for each other.

But that was what he had doubts about. Staying together. Hyde and Jackie's relationship had been on the rocks lately, and what scared him the most was that it was for more things than nurses and ex-boyfriends in nothing but a towel.

Jackie was cranky lately. She didn't want to be talked to really, or touched, for that matter. She was distant. She was always complaining about how she didn't feel good, and he knew that she was hiding something about her health. The whole situation had him worried.

But of course he never revealed his fears and worries out into the open. He was Steven Hyde. So he just gritted his teeth, pushed thorugh and kept his distance. But he longed for her. Not just for the sex, even though he missed it. He longed to hold her in his arms while they slept, like they used to every night. Neither of them could fall sleep unless he held her in his arms. It was mushy, he knew it, but it didn't require speaking, so he was ok.

Maybe Jackie was right; maybe he had been spending a little too much time with Donna. But she was as much of a wreck as he was, especially after Foreman left.

Steven missed him like hell.

He didn't know why Eric left. He guessed he just wanted to move on with life. Go on beyond the life of boring Point Place, Wisconsin where everyone knew each other and there wasn't much exploring to do.

Hyde couldn't help but wonder, however, if wherever his brother was, it had The Hub, the small movie theater they always went to, or The Grooves where Eric would sleep on the couch in front of all the customers.

But most importantly, if it had them. Donna, Kelso, Fez, Jackie, him.

"Mr. Hyde, I have the invoices for the new jukeboxes."

"Thanks," said Hyde. "Just put 'em on my desk."

The Grooves had become more successful than he ever expected. Sure, he was still living in a one-bedroom apartment, but he was stable. He was happy.

At least when it came to money.

He still didn't see the importance of moving in with Jackie. He considered it as important as when him and her slept on his little cot. There were no promises. All they basically did was share a house. Which they were pretty much doing at the Formans' after he upgraded to Laurie's room. Hypothetically speaking, he could still leave her in a split second.

Marriage was something he still did not consider. Although he would never say it, he didn't love anyone in this world more than he loved Jackie, even with all the shit that was happening. But he was doubtful as to how long their relationship could last.

_November 6, 1979: Point Place Wisconsin_

_Steven and Jackie were lying on his cot. Jackie had her head on his chest and her leg wrapped around his. Hyde was subconsciously playing with Jackie's hair._

_"Isn't it amazing?"_

_"Well, Jackie, I don't think amazing really does it well, especially considering its size."_

_"That's not what I meant!"_

_"Sure."_

_"I mean, four years ago, we hated each other. You couldn't stand me. And here we are, lying down together. We know everything about each other's bodies. I know how you like peanut butter without jelly. You know how I like hot sauce on everything. Isn't it just amazing?"_

_"Jackie, are you hungry or something?"_

_Jackie rolled her eyes._

_"But yeah," Hyde said, shifting his weight. "It is."_

_"Steven."_

_"Yes, Jackie."_

_"I love you."_

_Hyde was silent._

_"I will never love anyone as much as I love you."_

_Hyde paused. _

_He kissed her on her neck and said,_

_"Ok, Doll."_

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**REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! I would love to know what you guys think.**

****By the way, I know there hasn't been any dialogue going on between characters in their present time, but it will come. I'm just trying to give some background information to all you readers out there.****


	4. Stranger in Moscow

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own That '70s Show. I'm sure you've never heard that before.**

**This chapter is rated M for language and an intense sex scene. Don't say I didn't warn you.**

**This chapter is named after 'Stranger in Moscow' by Michael Jackson. The title doesn't, but the lyrics relate to the story in my opinion. RIP Michael Jackson **

**HINT: To interpret songs in different ways, for each chapter, read the story while listening to the song it's based on. Music can most definitely change the way you feel about things, even make believe stories. :)**

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_January 8, 1976: Point Place Wisconsin_

_"Donna, when Eric sees you-well he's not going to be looking much at you since I'm here BUT-if by a __stroke__ of luck Eric pays attention to you he is going to drop to his knees!" Jackie exclaimed, holding her pink __curling iron__ in place._

_"Wow, Jackie, you really know how to make a girl feel pretty."_

_"I know. I know!"_

_Jackie removed the hair tool and turned Donna to face the mirror._

_"Jackie, what the FUCK did you do to me? I wanted to look like a princess, not a prostitute!"_

_Donna's hair was teased so that her hair was three times its size and her makeup looked like it belonged on a clown._

_Jackie gasped. "How DARE YOU? I worked all night and trust me Donna, this is the best you're ever going to be able to look. Especially with all those lumps."_

_Donna's eyes opened wide. She looked like she was going to explode._

_"What a bitch! You can never be nice, can you?"_

_She couldn't believe Jackie would say something like that. She looked at Jackie and anger crept onto her face._

_And then a smile snuck onto her face._

_The smile was so contagious that Jackie began to smile._

_And then they burst out laughing._

_Laughter echoed throughout the whole house as Donna fell on the floor and Jackie bent over holding her stomach. Strong, loud, but beautiful laughs came from Donna as high-pitched squeals came from Jackie._

_Yeah, they were going to be alright._

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Jackie pulled up to the Formans' driveway and got out of the car. She tried to forget about it, but the pain was always lingering, like a stalker with murder on his mind.

She opened the sliding door and saw Kitty baking her famous walnut brownies.

"Hi, Mrs. Forman." said Jackie as she closed the door behind her.

"Oh! Jackie! How nice to see one of my babies here! The house is so quiet ever since..." she stopped. "Why don't you come sit down?" Kitty said nervously.

"Yeah, sure. There's actually something I want to talk about with you."

They both pulled out chairs with a squeak and sat down, both grabbing a brownie.

"So, honey, what did you want to talk about?"

Jackie took a deep breath and looked down at the warm brownie in her hand.

"Mrs. Forman, there's a certain, um, pain that's-oh God this is so embarrassing!" said Jackie as she dropped her head into her arms. "I'm pretty! I'm not supposed to have gross problems!"

Kitty gave her signature laugh. "Well, there's the Jackie we know and love!"

Jackie looked up but didn't smile.

"Sweetheart, are you ok? What kind of pain are you having?"

Jackie closed her eyes. _'You can do this! You need to do this! For Steven.'_

"Mrs. Forman, there is a sharp pain um...down _there_ that has been going on for, for a long time."

Kitty paused. Then it hit her.

"Oh! A pain down THERE!" Kitty laughed nervously and scratched the back of her head.

"Well, honey. When a girl turns into a woman, there's going to be some bleedi-"

"I know, Mrs. Forman! I've gotten my period since I was twelve!"

Kitty looked horrified. Nevertheless, she waited for her the girl that had become her daughter to continue.

Jackie closed her eyes and steady explained her situation to the older woman. "Mrs. Forman, there is a sharp pain between my legs that is…very painful. It's been going on for a while and the other day I was bleeding and I know it's not my period because I finished my period a week ago and oh, what am I going to do!" Jackie started sobbing uncontrollably.

"Jackie, honey, slow down. When did it exactly start?"

Jackie paused, as horrible memories flashed in her head. She closed her eyes. 'Just spit it out.'

"January 10, 1980."

Kitty paused.

Then it hit her.

She gasped. And she did something that was very rare: she broke down crying.

Kitty began to get out of control and started sobbing loudly. "NO! Please say it isn't true, Jackie! Please!"

Jackie began to cry.

They cried for what seemed like an hour, until they were both reduced to sniffling.

Sadness was all that ever seemed to grace their huge family after Eric left. But why?

"I knew it happened to a girl in Point Place, but-oh, goodness, Jackie! Why didn't you tell anyone?"

Tears streamed down Kitty's face.

"I was scared. Embarrassed. And I knew it would break up the gang. But I guess that happened anyway."

Kitty felt a constriction in her chest. She would never forgive herself for what happened to Jackie.

Jackie sniffed. "When was the last time you talked to Eric?"

Kitty paused and held her breath. Should she tell her about how she just hung up the phone with him yesterday? How he was crying on the phone, too? How she was crying just as bad?

"I'm not really sure, Jackie."

Jackie could see the lie. See it right through her face. She knew Kitty felt guilty because of the new revelation and couldn't even think about letting her know she talked to Eric recently.

"Ok, Mrs. Forman. I'm gonna see who's here."

As Jackie walked away, she heard Kitty's voice.

"And Jackie," said the older woman in a quiet, ashamed voice. " I want to schedule you to see the doctor."

Jackie wiped her face and went downstairs. Donna wasn't going to be here. Jackie had called Michael before she left and asked where Donna was to make sure she wouldn't run into the redhead. Jackie found out the Donna would be going away with her friend to a festival in Kenosha today. 'Well,' Jackie had thought, almost jealouslly, 'I see she's still having a good life after everything.'

She went down the stairs, and saw none other than the famous redhead sitting on the couch.

Jackie wasn't going to cower away like a puppy just because Donna was there. If anyone was to walk away, it should be Donna.

She walked proudly and sat on Hyde's chair.

"Hi, Jackie." Donna said, obviously angry and guilty at the same time.

"I thought you were going to Kenosha?"

"Wow, Jackie, what a lovely greeting." said Donna, obviously pissed.

"Are you going to answer the question? Or are you just going to be a bitch?"

As soon as it came out, Jackie regretted it.

Donna looked ahead of her as her eyes widened.

She eventually turned to face Jackie, her eyebrows raised.

"Don't talk to me like that, understand?"

"What are you gonna do, Donna?" said Jackie. "Rape me?"

Donna stiffened.

"Are you mad because your boyfriend goes to me before he goes to you? Or, no, maybe it's because he tells me how boring his sex life is."

Jackie grinded her teeth.

Donna got up, and bent over to whisper to Jackie, her teeth gritting.

"Face it; the only person who's a bitch is the person whose boyfriend says so."

"He did not say that!" Jackie said, standing up. "You're just a liar."

"Remember, Jackie. Karma's only a bitch if you are."

"Really? Is that the reason why that _event _happened in 1980?"

Donna closed her eyes.

She went for the door, but not before Jackie saw tears trickling down the bigger girl's face. Not long after, Jackie felt hot, fat tears rolling down her cheeks as well.

Donna pulled the door open. In a whisper, she said: "I'll always be sorry for that day, Jackie. Always."

Donna shut the door.

* * *

It was 10:30 at night. Hyde walked into his apartment complex, wondering if Jackie was asleep yet or not. He climbed into the elevator and pressed the button '12', but not before a pretty girl with Auburn hair yelled "Wait!"

Hyde pressed the 'door open' button.

"Thank you" said the girl as she climbed into the elevator.

"Where you going?"

"Floor 13."

Hyde hit the 13 button.

"I like your beard," said the girl.

"Thanks."

Compliments on his beard was the thing he loved most from girls, but not while he was dating Jackie.

"So, you live here?"

"Yep."

"Well, if you're not busy, why don't you come to my apartment? I've got some beer in the fridge."

He knew where the girl was getting at. He examined her. Gorgeous auburn hair cascaded and ended right around her shoulders. Brown eyes look mischievous and fun. Her lips were slicked with a rose-colored gloss.

"I have a girlfriend. And she's prettier than you. And she's waiting for me," said Hyde as the elevator slowed down. "Stop looking for guys to seduce and settle down with someone instead of whoring around with random strangers in your apartment complex."

Hyde got out of the elevator, and a satisfied smirk played on his lips.

He took out his key and opened the door. It was dark, but the TV was on. A figure jumped from off the couch and ran to Steven. He could only see her face from the glow of the TV screen.

Huge, mismatched eyes filled with wonder, and black hair that fell to her breasts. Full lips that looked so kissable. Hyde meant it when he said his girlfriend was prettier than that girl. Jackie was gorgeous.

"Hi, baby." said Jackie as she wrapped her arms around his waist.

Taken aback for a second, Hyde put his hands on her back and looked at her. He remembered why he fell in love with Jackie. This was who she really was.

"I've missed you, Puddin'"

"...I missed you too, Doll. Why are the lights all off?"

Jackie giggled sheepishly. "I couldn't find any matches for the candles."

Candles? That only meant one thing. She wanted him to make love to her tonight.

Memories of warmth meeting warmth and skin meeting skin rushed through his veins.

After contempating, Hyde lifted Jackie off her feet. "Well, I guess that means the whole night is ruined, huh?"

"I guess so." Jackie grinned and looked into his eyes. She was ready.

Hyde took her to the bedroom and gently laid her down.

"I'm sorry, Jackie. I'm sorry if I made you feel bad about talking to Donna. You come first before every though, you know that, right?"

"I hope so, Steven."

Jackie leaned forward and put her soft pink lips on Steven's. His hand rubbed her back as their tongues danced in each other's mouths.

Jackie broke the kiss. "Steven, I'm too tired to take my clothes off. Can you do it for me?" Jackie licked her lips seductively.

Hyde leaned forward and pulled Jackie's pink dress over her head. His pants tightened as he looked at her creamy breasts and realized she wasn't wearing a bra.

Hyde took her in, and began to suck all over her breasts.

"Yes, Steven. Make me feel good again."

Hyde lifted his head. "You like this baby?"

Jackie shuddered at the name. He never called her baby.

"Please Steven. Fuck me now."

With the orders, Steven undid his belt and pulled down his pants, not even bothering with the zipper. He ripped his shirt off. In only boxers, he leaned over Jackie.

"Take 'em off, Jackie. With your teeth."

"Oh, Steven? Are you ordering me around? It's because I've been a naughty girl, Steven. Look how wet I am for you." She pulled down her panties and spread her legs, rubbing herself. "I'm such a naughty girl, Steven. You should punish me."

"Fuck." Her dirty talk was turning him on. He didn't bother trying to get her to take off his underwear. He slipped his boxers off.

It had been so long. It felt like it was their first time fucking.

"You ready?"

"Yes, Steven. Fuck me good and hard."

Steven straddled her, and slowly entered her.

As soon as Hyde's dick went in, pain shot through her vagina up to her abdomen. She cried out, but Steven took it the wrong way.

"You like that, baby?"

Jackie gritted her teeth and nodded.

Steven began to thrust at a fast pace, rocking back and forth deep inside her heat. She felt so tight, and he loved it.

Steven looked down, and Jackie's eyes were shut tight, he wouldn't be able to tell if it was pleasure or pain, but he assumed pleasure due to the begging he received earlier from her.

"Tell me how much you want it, Jackie. Tell me before I cum."

Jackie opened her eyes. She couldn't stop now. She couldn't let him down.

_"Are you mad because your boyfriend goes to me before he goes to you? Or, no, maybe it's because he tells me how boring his sex life is."_

No, she couldn't stop. So she faked it.

"Steven, I want you so bad." She began moaning in pain, but she knew Steven would mistake it for pleasure.

With each thrust the pain intensified. She looked down and saw blood in between her legs. Jackie began to cry.

Steven didn't seem to notice. "Jackie, I'm about to cum!"

"Steven, stop! Stop it!" She wailed, as pain shot up.

Steven came and while he was cumming, he looked in her eyes and saw pain.

"Jackie, what's wrong?"

"Pull out! Pull out!" She was screaming.

He pulled out, and noticed the small amount of blood in between her legs. "What the fuck?"

Jackie rolled to her side and sobbed uncontrollably.

"Jackie, Doll. Why is there blood?"

"I told you to stop!" she said between sobs.

"How was I supposed to know, Jackie? I thought it was sexual!"

Steven stopped. Had he really been that rough on her?

Jackie seemed to read his mind. "Steven, it's not because of you I'm bleeding. I just need to...go get a check-up."

Hyde was worried. "Jackie." He reached out for her and got behind her. She kept sobbing.

Hyde pulled the covers over them, and turned her head to face him. There was fear in her eyes. "Jackie, what's going on?"

"I don't know, Steven, I don't know."

Then and there, she tried to do something she didn't usually do. She tried to forget. She tried to forget about everything that happened to her since 1980. She just turned around and buried her face in Hyde's chest. She nuzzled it.

And for the first time, something shocking happened. Something that didn't usually happen.

Steven Hyde was scared.

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**I would love to hear reviews. Pretty please? :)**


	5. Wish You Were Here

**DISCLAIMER: I. Do. Not. Own. Anything.**

**This chapter is a letter that Eric wrote to Donna. I know it's super short, I'm sorry. Enjoy!**

**The chapter is named after the song 'Wish You Were Here' by Pink Floyd (who doesn't ****like Pink Floyd****?)**

**Don't forget what I said in Chapter 4! To get a new interpretation of what you're reading, read each chapter while listening to the song it's named after. I highly recommend it!**

* * *

**July 2, 1980**

**Donna Pinciotti**

**Point Place, Wisconsin**

**53719**

Dear Donna,

I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to go. Hell, I didn't want any of this to happen.

But I guess I learned that when you're an adult, you have actions. And you have to face consequences for actions.

I don't know what happened. All I remember is a lot of blood. I don't really want to talk about it. I'm not ready.

Remember when we were in 5th grade, and we had a fake wedding and made necklaces out of Fruit Loops and had Ring Pops for the wedding rings? And we promised to always be friends forever.

And even though it was so long ago, I remember thinking about how pretty you were. And how the promise was about more than friendship. It was about love.

And I want to keep that promise. I want to love you forever. I want to be the one that holds you at night forever. I want to be the one that protects you forever. I want to be the nervous dad that waits by your bed while you give birth.

But I can't.

It's funny, isn't it?

We go, and we hear about the worst things on the news, and it's shocking, and it can happen to anyone, but we never think it'll happen to us. We never think we'll get in a car crash, or get cancer, or lose your mom.

Or lose everyone you ever loved.

So, I can't Donna. I can't be the one that holds you at night forever. I can't be the one that protects you. I can't make you the mother of my children.

I can't keep those promises.

But I will promise you one thing.

I will never stop loving you.

I know I must have hurt you a lot too. I know you're probably questioning why I did the things I did. And the truth is, I don't know. All I know is that I've gotten too far into the ocean, and I can't swim back.

And there's never going to be a wave big enough to bring me to shore.

I know, I know, this sounds over-dramatic. So, I think I'll end the letter here.

If you want to contact the police, or if Jackie wants to, that's fine.

But if you're not going to do that, then don't tell my parents who I did this all to to then, either. I don't think they'll ever be able to look at me in the eye.

I'll love you. Forever. Don't ever doubt that.

-Your Luke Skywalker

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**I know, it's a pretty short chapter! :( But I hope you guys enjoyed it, and if you're confused, don't worry. All in time.**

**Please review and give feedback!**


	6. The Thing That Should Not Be

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own.**

**Hey guys! I'm dropping a big bomb on this one! I really hope you guys like it; I think it's my best chapter yet!**

**This chapter is rated M for language and an intense rape scene.**

**The chapter is named after 'The Thing That Should Not Be', by Metallica.**

* * *

Jackie opened her eyes. It was still pitch black outside. She turned around and saw a curly haired man spooning her and burying his head into the nape of her neck.

She closed her eyes, briefly remembering the night she and Steven had shared. She looked over at the clock. 4:15 in the morning. Sighing, Jackie carefully came loose from Hyde's grip and got out of bed. She padded into the tiny living room and flopped onto the couch.

She needed to think. She needed to just think.

Reality. That was the problem with it all, wasn't it? No one could come to terms with reality. Whether it was a drunken Eric making devastating mistakes or a distraught Jackie hiding from her fears, no one would ever stop and think about consequences.

Live for every moment, that was what they said. But how could she live for the moment, when just one single moment ruined her life?

No, she couldn't live for the moment. Not anymore.

There were too many chances for that, and now they were all gone.

Tears began to roll down Jackie's face.

_January 10, 1980: Point Place, Wisconsin_

_Jackie was having a good time. It was two in the morning and the gang was at Anthony Reed's party. She was sitting on the couch watching a drunken Fez try to give a girl a lap dance. She always wondered why alcohol put into Fez caused him to take a switch in the gender roles._

_"Hey! Do not run away from Fez! Oi! Fine, then good day!"_

_Jackie giggled and started heading upstairs to fix her makeup. On the way, she saw Steven leaning against the stair __railing__, trying to entertain himself by convincing a drunken Kelso that Elton John was a famous soccer player who got assassinated. Her and Steven were the only ones of the gang who were not drunk, and that meant one of them were the designated drivers tonight._

_"Hey, Puddin' Pop." Jackie smiled and pulled Steven in for a kiss._

_Closing his eyes, captivated by her lips and intoxicated by her smell, Hyde grinned. "Hey."_

_She pulled away and climbed upstairs. "I'm going to fix my makeup!" She ran up the stairs and looked for a bathroom. Seeing a master bedroom, she knocked quickly and walked in._

_On the bed was a weeping, extremely drunk Eric, who did not notice her. Jackie rolled her eyes. Great, the geek was crying about Donna again. They had just gotten back together AGAIN, and they were already in a fight that could risk their relationship._

_Sighing, Jackie sat on the bed next to Eric. "What's wrong, Eric?"_

_Eric looked up and saw Jackie. He looked like he wanted to say something, but nausea took over him and he threw up on poor Anthony's floor. Disgusted, Jackie stood up. She didn't want to deal with the scrawny boy's vomit and she knew Eric was very upset and drunk. She was a smart girl; those two things did not go together._

_Reaching for the door, she felt a gentle hand on her wrist. She looked behind her and saw Eric looking at her with sad eyes. A pang of guilt swept over her._

_"Jackie, make me feel better." Eric slurred. _

_Jackie rolled her eyes. "I'm not your therapist, Eric." Eric paused._

_"Th-that's not what I meant, Jackie. Could you like, like maybe kiss me?" Eric stumbled slightly._

_Jackie's mouth opened in shock. "Eric, you creep! Go get some from Donna or something! I can't be seen kissing a geek like you, it'll ruin my reputation! Besides, I have a boyfriend." Disgusted by Eric for the second time that night, Jackie attempted to go find another restroom._

_But Eric's grip tightened._

_Starting to get a little panicky, Jackie shuffled nervously. "Let go, Eric."_

_"C'mon, Jackie. It'll only be a few minutes." Trying to tear away from his grip, Jackie kicked him in the shins. Eric didn't let go. Instead, he pulled her to the ground and straddled her._

_"Jackie," he said. "You're so beautiful. Gimme a kiss." Jackie tried to say something, but before she could, Eric covered her mouth with both hands._

_"Just a few minutes, Jackie."_

_She knew Eric was drunk, but this wasn't like him at all. She wasn't scared; after all, he did say that he just wanted a kiss. She expected him to just force her to make-out. However, Eric began to take her clothes off._

_Jackie tensed up. She tried kicking, but to no avail. She closed her eyes and braced herself as she pictured the scrawny, nervous, 17-year-old Eric of 1976 when he got his birthday present from Donna. Now he was almost 21, and so much different._

_He buried his face in to the crook of her neck. Jackie opened her eyes and noticed that they were both stripped of all clothes. She knew what was coming._

_She tried to fight, when she would recall the events of that night the next day, she would swear to herself that she tried. She really did._

_But he was strong._

_Suddenly, she saw Donna walk in, and stop, a look of horror creeping onto her face. Eric didn't notice, and thrusted into her. Jackie tried to scream through his hands, but nothing came out. He was hurting her. Badly._

_She tried to get Donna to help her. But Donna just stood there, tears running down her face._

_Jackie started to make noises, signaling to Donna that she was not having sex. She was being raped. It was no use. Donna took one last look before sobbing and walking slowly out. Somehow, someway, Jackie knew Donna wasn't coming back. And that's when she started crying._

"Hey." Hyde entered the room.

Jackie quickly wiped her eyes and tried to perk up. "Hey."

She could vaguely see through the dark that Steven had dressed in boxers and a t-shirt.

He walked around the table towards the couch and sat down. He looked at the floor between his feet and interlaced his fingers.

He felt so awkward. _'God, she's my girlfriend. She's been my girlfriend for 2 years. Why don't I know what to say?'_

Hyde cleared his throat and turned his head towards Jackie, keeping his eyes on the floor. "You wanna talk?"

Jackie sat up a little straighter. She knew Hyde would ask about what happened last night. But she didn't prepare what she would say. So she did something Steven Hyde taught her to do so long ago: shut down.

"Talk about what?" she said.

"About last night."

"What about it?"

Hyde rolled his eyes. Did she think she'd be able to start blowing him off?

"Did you really think you'd get Zen past the Zenmaster, princess?" He shifted forward in his seat. "Jackie, I'm not, you know, disgusted, if that's what you're worried about."

Hyde reached out, attempting to rub his rough fingertips against her arm.

Jackie pulled away sharply.

"Get off." she said. "And I don't care whether or not you are."

Steven rubbed his hand over his face. He really wished he was wearing his sunglasses. He was starting to show how concerned he was. "Whatever, Jackie."

He got up and started walking but was interrupted by Jackie.

"So, what? We're done talking just because I don't want to talk about last night?"

Hyde turned around and sighed. "I'm just tired, Jackie. Do you always have to do this?"

"Tired of what? I don't want to talk about it! What's the big deal?" Jackie began to yell.

"Why are you always doing this? What did I do to you? What did I ever do to you?" He was beginning to lose his Zen and started getting pissed off.

Jackie stood up.

"What did you do? Well, _maybe _you cheated on me with a nurse!"

Hyde threw his hands in the air. He couldn't believe her. "Are we back to that? Are we really back to that? Why did you get back with me if you're just gonna bring up the past?"

_Donna walked down the steps. Hyde looked up at the bottom and nodded at her. "Where's Jackie?"_

_Donna tried to hold back her tears. "I don't know."_

Jackie tried to hold back her tears. "I don't know."

Hyde closed his eyes. "God, Jackie, why do you always act like a bitch?"

_After he was done, Eric attempted to reach out to help Jackie up. Jackie covered herself before smacking his hand away and standing up._

_"I hate you! I hate you so much!"_

Jackie walked over to Steven.

She began hitting his chest. "God, I hate you Steven! I hate you! I hate you so much!"

_Eric stumbled on the bed. He was still extremely drunk. Jackie looked up and saw he was beginning to cry. "I'm so sorry, Jackie. I didn't mean to hurt you," he slurred. He looked in her eyes, searching._

_Jackie got dressed quickly and went into the master bathroom, locking it, just in case. She pulled down her pants and began sobbing as she saw the blood between her legs. She sat on the toilet and put her head in her hands._

_She heard knocking on the door as Eric began pleading. She could hear that he was sobbing loudly._

_"Please, Jackie! I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't know you'd take it that way." He was having a hard time speaking, somewhat because he was drunk and somewhat because he was crying._

_Jackie began to cry even louder. She knew Eric didn't mean for it to be that forceful, or rough for that matter. He thought it was a consensual one-night stand but his sadness and drunkenness got in the way. Even so, he didn't mean for it to be rape._

_But it was. And she would never forgive him for that._

___However, no matter how drunk Eric was, he would never do something like that. Something was off with him. _

_Eric started pounding louder on the door, crying and begging her to forgive him. Jackie remained silent, except for her cries._

Jackie began pounding on Steven's chest harder and harder. Hyde remained silent.

He would never hit his girlfriend back. But he couldn't help but wince at the pain in his chest. He almost smiled for a second, remembering how much passion Jackie had in everything she did.

But that hadn't shown for months.

_Jackie opened the door and pushed Eric away. She wiped her eyes. She wouldn't tell anyone. She wouldn't get Eric in trouble. It was a mistake. A very brutal mistake._

_She closed her eyes, not daring to look at the mess on the bed that was reduced to whimpers. She knew Eric had been really upset lately. And it was all let out now._

_"I'm not going to tell anyone, Eric."_

_Jackie wiped her face, not caring if it looked swollen. She'd tell them she fell or something._

_Jackie walked downstairs, seeing Steven leaning against the rail with his sunglasses, looking Zen. He was trying to get Kelso to tell the whole crowd about the new soccer player he learned about, Elton John._

_Jackie would've smiled if it wasn't for what happened. He would always be her hero. Always be the badass one. The cool one. And because of that, she would never break him down by telling him what happened._

_She couldn't help running into his arms, needing him, needing his touch, not caring if people were looking._

_She put her head into his neck and started crying._

_Trying to keep his Zen, he quietly placed his hand on her back._

_She held him with all her might. And so did he._

Jackie stopped her pounding on her boyfriend's chest and looked into his eyes. She wrapped her arms around Steven, breaking down crying all over him.

She held him with all her might. And so did he.


	7. They Make You Feel Small

**DISCLAIMER: If you don't get that I don't own this freakin' show by now, then I suggest you bang your head against the wall a few times.**

**Hello, everyone!** **I hope you're all having a wonderful start to your weekend!**

**This chapter is based off a lyric from the song "Working Class Hero" by John Lennon.**

**Rated T: A few swear words here and there and rape is mentioned.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Red walked into the kitchen to find two dumbasses sitting on the table. On _his _table. Eating _his food._ Red rolled his eyes and walked to the fridge, wondering when he'd actually live in a dumbass-free zone.

"No! Farrah Fawcett is way hotter than Kate Jackson! I'd do her any day."

"You American moron! Do you not see the glorious twin towers of Kate Jackson's breasts?" Fez slammed his hand on the table. "Besides, Farrah Fawcett would never do you anyway."

Kelso leaned forward in his seat as Red sat down at the table with a soda in his hand. "Um, hello? I'm the Apollo Rocket of _Love, _Fez! Ask Jackie!"

"If you morons don't stop talking about this on the table that I eat on, my Apollo Rocket of _Foot_ is gonna go up your ass." Red cracked open his soda and gulped it down.

Fez and Kelso looked at each other. Kelso rubbed his neck nervously.

"We-he-hell, I think it's about time we get going, eh, buddy? See ya later, Red. We got some uh...fish to fry."

"Mmmm, fish!"

"Let's go, Fez!" Kelso yanked on Fez's collar and pulled him down to the basement.

'Finally." Red thought. 'Dumbass free.'

He turned around him and looked at the calendar on the wall. February 12, 1981. Wow, time flies.

He sighed and sipped on his soda. It never left his mind. _He _never left his mind.

Sure, he was his son. A dumb one for that matter.

And he would always, well, love him. He would never stop being his father.

But there gets to a certain point in a parent's life where you just have to let go. Red and Kitty couldn't take the shots for Eric anymore. They had to let him fly.

Even if there were chances for him to fall out of the nest.

As soon as Eric was born, Red was proud. He never, ever showed it, and maybe tried to conceal it with his bitterness.

But there was never a point in his life where he was truly disappointed in his son.

Except for that day.

It was kind of weird, Red concluded, as he finished the last of his soda.

As soon as you're born, you're faced with expectations. You're surrounded with people smothering you and making you believe that happiness is easy.

But it's not.

You're forced to believe that you have to do the right thing, always, or you won't be accepted in this world. You're led to think that if you don't say or do the right thing, people won't like you.

So as soon as you're born, they make you feel small. Intimidated.

And you spend the rest of your life worrying about little things. Desiring things, little materialistic things. And you think that all these little things will eventually lead to ultimate bliss.

But it won't.

People looked forward to the future, so they could escape their present.

But it will never work.

"You see, son." Red had told his 12-year-old son so many years ago. "Happiness doesn't depend on money or fancy clothes, or even deep, meaningful things like love. All happiness takes is, well, happiness."

But it's not really that easy. And he would never forgive himself for leading his son to believe otherwise.

Because Eric, like most people in this world, spent his life wanting but never really _living._

And now, here Eric was, probably at the lowest point in his whole life.

He set himself up for disappointment.

He was furious when he found out. He couldn't look at his son.

His own son, his own flesh and blood… raped a girl? Raped a girl in a drunken rage because of some nonsense fight him and his girlfriend had?

They were truly damn lucky that whoever the girl was, she didn't press charges.

And so maybe Red had set himself up for disappointment too.

Because when his son was first born, he truly believed that Eric wouldn't feel small.

And he would be happy.

At least until January 10, 1980.

* * *

Hyde sat on the old ratty couch in the basement with his eyes on the TV, but his mind on other things. He kept on shifting in his seat. He hadn't noticed before, but this couch was really a piece of shit. He couldn't get comfortable. He didn't know how he managed to stand it all those years.

He put his head in his hands, massaging the corners of his eyes.

God. He didn't know what to do.

There was never a point in his life where Steven felt so helpless. So alone.

Jackie was hiding something, he knew that much.

And it had something to do with the bleeding between her legs.

But he felt there was more to it. He knew there was more to it. It was more than a health issue; it was something happening that was obviously so devastating that it was changing Jackie's life forever.

And ultimately, Hyde's as well.

He sighed and leaned back. He wondered what Donna was doing. And Kelso and Fez of course, too, but-

God, he was so confused.

He loved Jackie. He loved her with every piece of his heart. He would die for her to be happy. He would run around the world twice to keep her safe. He would go through hell and back for her to be healthy.

And yet, he would only do so little to keep their relationship together.

He wasn't giving up, no. Hyde wasn't a quitter.

He was forced to keep going even when he wanted to collapse so many years ago when his 'family' consisted of alcoholic parents who showed affection by beating the shit out of each other.

It wasn't that he didn't want to work on the relationship, he wanted it to get better.

But in the end, there was really nothing he could do. He had tried everything.

He would do anything to go back to how they used to be: inseparable, but like two positive magnets: crazy in love, but driving each other crazy. Not being able to live without each other, but dying to be able to.

That's just how they were. And that's what made the love so strong.

And yet, why was he replacing his girlfriend with Donna? With the girl who he knew deep down inside had the relationship with Eric that he had with Jackie? Was he stupid?

No, but he sure was confused.

He would never do what he did ever again, he couldn't take it. He wouldn't be able to keep doing it on a regular basis; he loved Jackie too much for that.

But he always wondered if the day he did it, Jackie sensed a change in Hyde. If Jackie sensed that he did something so hurtful like that, and that's what brought her down.

But, of course, Jackie was already a mess before Hyde did what he did months ago.

He didn't tell anyone about it. She didn't either. It would break up the gang for good, if it wasn't already tearing apart.

But maybe they just wanted to lie to themselves and pretend that there was actually something else to lose if they told their dirty little secrets.

Because the truth was, there wasn't anything to lose anymore. There hadn't been for a long time.

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**Good, bad? Made you wanna puke? Go for it! Leave me a review. I'll be your best friend.**


	8. Let's Play The Blame Game

**Alright, people! Another chapter up! I hope you guys enjoy! I'm pretty sure it's going to be a little shorter than usual, but that's how I want it to be for this one.**

**Rating: K+**

**This chapter is based on a lyric from the song "Blame Game" by Kanye West & John Legend.**

* * *

He was tired. He had been trying to take a nap for the past half hour, but to no avail. He groaned in frustration and threw the blankets to the ground. He sat up, stretched and turned on the TV.

The conversation he had on the phone the other day with Kitty kept on coming back to him. Obviously, things weren't going well with Jackie and Donna. Obviously, things weren't going well in general. His mother gave him advice, urging him to talk to Jackie. To communicate better with her.

But she didn't understand what was going on between them, she didn't know at all.

Or maybe she did?

No, she would have told him if she knew anything. She would have let him know.

He sighed. Jackie. After years of hating her, he realized that he loved her. Loved her like a sister. Loved her like a best friend.

And he felt for her.

He couldn't sleep at night sometimes because of her. He was worried about her. He wanted to know what she was feeling deep inside.

But, no one could ever really know what you felt in the depths of your heart, could they?

It was amazing to think about the secrets people hid, the things about them that no one knew.

Sure, he loved his friends, but with each individual friend he could think of one thing that that they would never know about him.

Even with..._her._

It was amazing. It was amazing to think that there was no one on this earth that knew everything about him. And there was no one on this earth that knew every single thing about another person, either.

He scooted his butt back to the headboard and flipped through the channels. It was all the same thing. Nothing on TV was good anymore. Even _Charlie's Angels_ began to bore him. He needed to go to work soon, but he didn't feel like it today.

He got off the bed and padded out to the small kitchen. He banged the drawer open and began to rifle through the papers inside.

Finally, his treasure peeked out among old bills.

He opened the envelope for what seemed like the hundredth time.

He rubbed his hands across the paper, maybe trying to grasp the memories that he thought it held. He smelled it, trying to see if he could smell her. But if there was her smell on the crumpled paper, it had probably faded due to how many times the paper had been in his hands.

Yes, it was a crumpled paper.

It had been crumpled, thrown in the trash, contemplated on, taken out of the trash and uncrumpled more times than he could remember.

He knew her handwriting. He knew it well.

**July 5, 1980**

**Minneapolis, Minnesota**

**55401**

_I don't know you anymore. That's what it seems like. It's funny to think that one day, you think you know everything about someone._

_And then the next day, you're strangers._

_That's what we are in the long run, aren't we? Strangers._

_Remember before we started dating, how nervous I was in front of you, and I never knew what you thought of me or how you felt about me?_

_And then we fell in love, and damn it, I had never been happier. I could never stop looking at you, even past the one-year mark. Even past the two-year mark._

_You made me proud. I was proud to be yours. Yours._

_And then, our relationship disintegrated back to where we were before. Not knowing how you feel. Not knowing what you think._

_Not knowing if you love me._

_Not knowing if you ever even loved me._

_You say you love me. You said it in your letter. But I can't be so sure._

_Maybe, in some twisted way, it is my fault. That's what she said. That's what she said to me the other day._

_But whatever role I had in this, you didn't have to do what you did._

For what seemed like the hundredth time, he crumpled the paper.

Eric Forman wiped the tears from his face.

Donna Pinciotti was a smart girl.

* * *

**Well, there you go, guys! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. *ahem*REVIEW*ahem***

**Enjoy the rest of your weekend!**


	9. Nobody's Home

**DISCLAIMER: I'm really running out of unique ways to tell you guys that I don't own 'That '70s Show'.**

**There is a surprise at the end of this chapter! I hope you guys like it! I'm sorry I haven't been updating as much as I usually do, but it's almost back to school and I have to get caught up on school work. Blegh.**

**Rating: T, a few references of rape and sex.**

**This chapter is named after the song "Nobody's Home" by Avril Lavigne.**

* * *

Jackie turned off the shower. She was freezing in her one-bedroom apartment, despite the fact that she had turned the water as hot as it would go. Did Steven turn on the AC last night? It was the dead of winter but this man was always hot.

She and Steven hadn't talked about the episode they had after their first night having sex after a long time, but Hyde was acting a lot nicer to her.

Was it pity? Or did their incident show him how much she really loved him in the end?

She hoped it was the latter.

Jackie stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her body. She opened the door and walked in her bedroom to find her boyfriend getting ready for work.

Steven looked behind him. "Hey." It was a known fact that Steven liked Jackie best right after she came out of the shower. Her skin was softer. She smelled like vanilla and strawberries.

Jackie sat down on the bed. "Hey."

Things had been so...awkward between them. And the awkwardness between them itself was awkward, considering they were dating.

Considering they knew more about each other than anyone else would ever know.

Considering they had pieces of each other's hearts, locked up safe in the depths of themselves.

"Are you going to work?" Jackie began to put her underwear on.

"Yeah. W.B wants me to check inventory before the end of the day." Hyde said as he tucked his dress shirt into his slacks.

_'God, he looks so sexy when he dresses like that.'_ Jackie thought.

"Oh."

Hyde looked at his girlfriend.

"Did you, uh, want me to stay?"

_'She looks so beautiful without any makeup on.'_

Jackie looked up, a look of surprise and relief both in her eyes.

"Well, that would be nice but...wouldn't W.B get mad?"

"Please doll," Hyde said, sitting on the bed and taking his tie off. Jackie got butterflies at the nickname. "The worst that's gonna happen is that W.B's wife gets so mad that she cuts him off, from, you know."

"So?" Jackie asked. "You don't lose anything."

Hyde raised an eyebrow. "You're coming along nicely, young grasshopper."

Jackie's heart swelled. This was the Steven she fell in love with so long ago, the sarcastic, funny, tough Steven who didn't have a care in the world.

Deep down inside, Steven Hyde really cared about people more than anyone else.

"Hey! Let's go rent a movie!" Jackie said, jumping off the bed. "We can get Grease and I can dress in those leather pants I have!"

Hyde chuckled as Jackie, still clad in a towel, pulled his hand towards the door.

That was the Jackie he fell in love with.

* * *

Red and Kitty Forman were sitting at their kitchen table, eating tuna salad sandwiches.

"So, honey, did you fix the car engine yet?" Kitty asked, getting up to get some water.

"No. The moron at the repair shop told me it would take _at least _a week. Dumbass."

Kitty sat back down, water in hand, and laughed her signature laugh. She leaned forward and gave her husband a kiss on the cheek.

"Red Forman, you and I both know that with Jackie's help, you could fix that car in a day!"

Red rolled his eyes. "I know, I thought about it. But that brat has been, I don't know, cranky? Which is actually a good thing. Maybe it'll get a little quieter in this God damn house. Dumbasses."

Kitty laughed again, except this time, it was a nervous laugh. Her husband's comment reminded her of something she needed to talk to him about.

"Red, I have to ask you a question." Kitty gulped her water down.

Red put his sandwich down and rolled his eyes. "Kitty, I am _not _taking Steven and the other two idiots to a baseball game for some _'fatherly-son-bonding.'_" Red said the last part in a mocking tone.

Kitty's heart throbbed as she realized Eric was not mentioned. However, she began to laugh. "No, Red! That's not it!" Realizing what her husband had said at the last part, she stopped laughing. "Red Forman, is that what I sound like to you? Do you really think I sound that...nasal-y to you?"

Red paused. "Uh, no dear. Ask your question."

"Yes, so. Red, when was...when was the last time you called Eric?"

Red stopped chewing. "Kitty. Don't start bringing this up."

Kitty started getting frustrated. "Red! He is your son! Your _son_." Kitty remembered the days after Eric graduated from high school, when he spent the days just sitting around at home. Sure he got into a lot of trouble, and Red was constantly giving him 'foot-in-ass' threats, but she missed it.

Because God knows their relationship then was so much better than now.

Kitty asked herself if their relationship could get any worse.

And she was heartbroken, because it could.

Because Red didn't know _who _Eric had raped.

The other day, when Jackie told Kitty that Eric had raped her; a memory kept playing in her head. It was odd, but it just kept on playing. It was when Eric was first learning how to walk.

They had been so proud of him. Love had surged through them as he walked a few steps, stumbled onto his behind, looked behind him, and muttered a tiny "uh-oh!"

And she kept thinking about that. She thought about it and compared it to the disappointment she had in her son now.

And it was the worst feeling she ever felt.

"Kitty. Don't bring it up again." Red finished his sandwich.

"Red, you're going to wish one day that you had kept in touch with your son. And that moment might be coming sooner than you think." Should she tell him what Eric had told her on the phone the other day? What would Red do?

"What are you saying? What do you mean?"

Just then, Kelso and Fez ran into the kitchen, but not before running into the glass sliding door.

"MR. AND MRS. FORMAN! GUESS WHAT!" Kelso yelled, out of breath.

Forgetting their talk, Red spoke. "Please, moron, quiet down. My ears need some peace from the poison of dumbass-talk always coming out of your mouth."

Fez looked sincerely at Red. "That was a beautiful metaphor, Mr. Forman."

Red and Kitty held a questioning look at Fez.

"What is it, Michael?" Kitty asked. "Did you get glued to your glue bottle again?"

Kelso looked ashamed as he looked down. "No."

"Kelso is moving back to Point Place with Betsy!"

"Oh, Michael!" Kitty said, getting up. "That's wonderful! Now you don't have to make so many drives from Chicago!"

"Yeah! I'm getting transferred to the Point Place Police Station!"

"Ok, that's great. Now get out of my kitchen. And don't let my foot get stuck up your ass on the way out."

After the brief interruption, Red and Kitty forgot about their conversation. Or, at least, they pretended to.

* * *

Four hours later, Jackie was laughing hysterically as Hyde carried her over his shoulder to the Forman residence. She had a great day with Steven. They had watched a movie, went to lunch, and even had a long talk before taking a nap together, cuddling like how they used to. Now, they were coming to the Forman's home.

As the entered the kitchen, Hyde sat Jackie down. Out of breath, he opened the fridge and got out a root beer.

"When is Kelso moving here?"

"He told me it would be soon, like within a week. Brooke's taking it pretty well. She's gonna head on down here a few weeks after Michael."

"Let's go see if anyone's in the basement."

Holding hands, Jackie and Hyde walked across the kitchen.

Jackie was happy. After such a long time, she was happy.

But she couldn't help but wonder how long it would last.

As they entered the basement, her question was answered.

Because a skinny boy named Eric Forman was sitting in their basement.

* * *

**Was this chapter good? Boring? Review for me please! :)**

***NOTE* My friend Jessica will be reviewing on my account because she doesn't have one :)**


	10. Please Don't Say You're Sorry

**DISCLAIMER: UGH! I don't own!**

**Here's my newest chapter. Yay for flashbacks! :)**

**Chapter is named after a lyric from "Sorry" by Madonna.**

**Rated: M for intense language and mentions of rape.**

* * *

_January 13, 1980: Point Place Wisconsin_

_Eric Forman sat in his room, packing a large duffel bag with clothes and small necessities. He'd been secretly packing for days now, three days to be exact. And he was ready to leave today. He would tell his parents this morning, and then leave in the evening._

_He needed to get out of Point Place._

_He knew there was nowhere to hide; only a fool would leave thinking otherwise._

_But, he just needed to leave. Leave the place that had so many memories for him._

_The place where a tragedy happened._

_When he said tragedy, he didn't mean someone was killed or something._

_But the actions that he took three days ago would affect the rest of at least two people's lives._

_He was pretty sure there'd be more lives affected eventually though._

_He sighed, and leaned back on his hands. His parents were eating breakfast._

_He didn't know how to handle it. He was dropping a major bomb on his parents, and he was going to let it all out the day he leaves? It wasn't practical. But he couldn't stand one more day in Point Place._

* * *

_"You what?" Red almost screamed in fury. He looked over at his wife, who was a complete mess._

_He knew this would happen. He expected his parents to be devastated. But it was more than he could handle._

_Tears began to roll down Eric's face. "I know. Trust me, I know."_

_"Why would you do something like this? Why?" Kitty asked as she wiped her face._

_Eric held back for a second. "I was drunk and, and I don't know."_

_"Who is this poor girl?"_

_Eric closed his eyes. "I don't know, Mom."_

_He knew his parents wouldn't tell anyone. No one. They wouldn't resist his arrest, but they wouldn't try to instigate it either._

_And yet, he didn't care about it now. He could be fucking executed for all he cared._

_He just wanted his old life back._

_Donna next to him on the couch._

_Kelso and Fez dying of laughter._

_Hyde burning everyone in the room._

_And...Jackie._

_He wanted so much for Jackie._

_"And you expect to leave? To just leave and everything will go away? Like shit it will!" Red's face turned red as he slammed his hand on the table._

_He never heard his dad swear like that. It scared him._

_He looked over at his mom. He wanted her to help him. To save him like she always did._

_But it was so different now._

_"Mom...Mom, say something. Please."_

_Kitty looked up as fresh tears rolled down her face._

_"Get out of my house."_

_Eric's heart broke then and there. He was expecting that phrase from Red, not his mom._

_That's when he knew that things would never be the same._

_He got up as a sob elicited from his mouth._

_He held it back. "Yeah," another sob. "Yeah, um, ok. I'll go. I-uh, I already have my bags packed."_

_Tears kept coming down. There was no stopping them now._

_He opened the door, but not before saying "Just, just let me handle it with my friends tonight. And then I'll leave." He was basically telling his parents not to tell his friends until he left._

_"Just get out of the fucking house!" Red yelled._

_Eric squeezed his eyes shut and walked out of the house._

_Kitty was heart-broken. Did she just kick out her own son from the house? Her son? The boy she loved with every fiber of her being?_

_She broke down and threw her head into her arms._

_What was going on?_

* * *

_Jackie locked herself in Laurie's old room. She heard vague voices about Eric leaving somewhere. She didn't care._

_She just wanted to die._

_She was angry._

_Between her legs there was an excruciating pain; she didn't care._

_She just wanted to die._

_Donna could go to hell. She could rot there and just watch as Jackie spent the rest of her life hiding a secret. __Just watch like she did three days ago._

_She was in denial. She knew deep, deep, down inside that Donna was confused about what happened. That Donna probably thought it was just sex. __But she blocked it from her mind. __She hated that bitch. __She hated her so much._

_And Eric. God, Eric. She wasn't...angry._

_She was grieving for him._

_It was weird, the man who raped her, she felt sad because of him. She didn't know why. __She was confused._

_Was he telling the truth when he said he didn't mean to rape her? That he thought she wanted it, too?_

_No, no. He forced her to the ground. He even hurt her a little bit._

_But, sometimes alcohol did crazy things._

_And she couldn't help but think of how...strange it had been. It was a new side of Eric, a side she had never seen after all the years of knowing him._

_Was something different that night?_

_No. NO! She was not going to defend Eric's honor. She was not going to try to take his side._

_He raped her. That was it._

_She hadn't talk to him since. She didn't plan on doing it ever again._

_Not even if he was leaving Point Place because of her._

_Fuck him._

_Fuck both of them._

* * *

_Eric hadn't seen Donna since it happened. She'd been hiding in her house, and not answering either of the two calls he had made._

_Which probably meant she knew. Jackie told her._

_He wondered what she thought of him. Did she think of him as a creep? A freak?_

_Or maybe just a monster._

_Rape._

_It kept playing in his head._

_Rape._

_He sexually assaulted a girl._

_Rape._

_He wondered how the gang would reference him when they found out. Rapist? Molester?_

_He knew no one else knew yet, things had been perfect between him and the guys._

_Then again, he hadn't been seeing anyone lately._

_Hyde, Kelso, and Fez were probably wondering why the three of them had been shutting themselves out. __He didn't care. They didn't know anything._

_Except, maybe Hyde._

_No, no. Jackie hadn't been sleeping in her apartment the past few days. She was in a cheap motel at night. He knew that from his mom. Apparently, Jackie had been calling Kitty everyday 'just to talk.' __He wondered what they talked about, considering Jackie wasn't telling his mom anything about what happened._

_She was also spending a lot of time in Laurie's room._

_He wondered if she was broken. __He wondered if she was alive._

_She was obviously alive, he knew that._

_But was she really alive?_

* * *

_Donna wiped her face with her hands. She had been crying all last night and all day up until now in the late afternoon. __How could Eric cheat on her? __How could Jackie, her best friend, do that to her?_

_She wasn't talking to Eric. She wasn't ready to face him._

_She remembered when Eric first came back from Africa just two weeks ago._

_She remembered how he just appeared out of nowhere, like a magician._

_And they kissed._

_And God knows the love that surged through her as she looked at the love of her life. __He was the man. __He was the guy._

_Scrawny, witty, funny Eric._

_She loved him so much. __And she was sure he loved her._

_Until now._

_It was so weird; she couldn't imagine Eric doing something like that to her. He did many stupid things. __But he never broke her into pieces like this, a__nd especially not with her closest friend._

_Why? What did she do?_

_And she clamped her hand over her mouth and sobbed into it as she realized something._

_It was right after they had got into a fight._

_"Eric! Just listen. I just want best for us. It's too soon."_

_"Really, Donna? Maybe you'll just never be ready for marriage." He put his hands in his pockets, looked down, and sadly shuffled away._

_She had seen the sorrow in his eyes. The heart-break. He was hopeful after their relationship was renewed. But he was moving too fast._

_She had broken his heart._

_So maybe it was her fault._

* * *

_"What? Where are you going? Oh! Hey, man, you should go to Canada! I hear they have the hottest girls." Kelso said._

_Eric gave a weak smile that didn't meet his eyes._

_Hyde looked at Eric. He was curious. "Forman." Eric looked up._

_Hyde paused, and from the little Eric could see on Hyde's face, he looked sincere._

_"What's going on, man?"_

_Eric looked at the man who had grown to be his brother._

_The guy who had helped him so many times while pretending like it was no big deal._

_The guy who loved his parents._

_The guy who loved Jackie._

_God, he couldn't look at Hyde. He did this to his girl. __And he knew that one day; his brother would be broken because of it._

_He blinked back tears. "I just.." Eric rubbed the back of his neck, sighing. "I just gotta get outta here."_

_"What about you and Donna?" asked Fez._

_Eric closed his eyes. His throat locked up. "Me and Donna aren't together anymore."_

_Hyde had questioning eyes beneath his sunglasses. Eric could sense it._

_At least the other two were accepting._

_Kelso walked over to Eric. "Eric, you're really leaving us? All of a sudden? Was it that bad with Donna?"_

_Eric looked up. For once, Kelso wasn't talking about chicks or being stupid. He was serious. He was worried._

_"Yeah, it's bad."_

_Kelso clapped Eric's shoulder and looked him in the eye._

_He remembered all the fun times they had together._

_But surely, they would see each other all the time._

_Yeah, they would._

_"Eric, you will visit, right?" Fez asked._

_"Yeah, yeah I'm gonna visit."_

_Hyde could see through his lies. There was something more. It had something to do with Donna and Jackie. They were acting just as weird the last few days._

_He knew deep inside it'd be a long time until he'd see his brother again._

_Nevertheless, Hyde gave Eric a man-hug._

_"Gonna miss you, man. Take care."_

_"Yeah, yeah I will." Eric said. "Hyde. Take...take care of my parents, okay?"_

_"Yep, you know it." Hyde took off his sunglasses. "You taking the car?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"Ok, get in. We'll watch you go."_

_"I'm still staying for a little while."_

_Fez ran over to Eric giving him a hug. "Let's go do another circle then!"_

_Eric wasn't welcome back in his house. He knew that._

_"I just gotta say bye to Donna. And Jackie. Then I'm leaving."_

_Hyde sensed that Eric wanted to be left alone. "We'll see ya around then. Keep in touch, huh?" He softly punched Eric's arm._

_Images of the gang all singing "Hello Goodbye" bye the Beatles in his Vista Cruiser came to mind. They were so young._

_His heart swelled for his friends._

_"Yeah. I will."_

_Hyde, Kelso and Fez walked inside. A look of confusion was plastered on each of the young men's faces. Something weird was going on._

* * *

_Eric knocked at Donna's door. He stood there for a few seconds before the door was opened by a large man with a bad perm._

_Bob gave Eric a judging look. "Are you the reason my little girl is bawling her eyes out?"_

_Eric rolled his eyes. "Yes, Mr. Pinciotti. I need to see her. She won't talk to me so can I come to her room?"_

_Bob was a nice guy. But he was also smart. He saw Eric was as upset as Donna._

_After giving Eric a long look, Bob stepped aside. "Go on in, kid."_

_Eric nodded his head in thanks and walked up the stairs. He walked down the hallway, reaching Donna's door. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he opened the door._

_He saw Donna's sleeping figure on the bed. He walked over to her. He slowly placed his hand on her head._

_He recalled when Donna and he were just friends. And yet everyone could see they were totally in love with each other._

_She was his best friend._

_And she still was._

_Tears filled his eyes for the hundredth time today._

_God, he loved her._

_Donna slowly opened her eyes, and seeing who it was, she closed them. She opened her eyes again and scooted back like a scared puppy._

_"Go away. Please." Donna said softly._

_"Donna," Eric said, getting down on his knees. "Donna, I-I'm sorry."_

_She got off the bed. "Don't say you're sorry. Please don't say you're sorry."_

_Eric rested his head in his hand. "God, Donna. You probably think I'm a creep."_

_"A creep? No, I just think you're a backstabbing bastard who doesn't give a shit about his girlfriend."_

_"Donna, I was drunk, okay? Really drunk."_

_"That doesn't mean ANYTHING!" Donna gritted her teeth and balled her fists. She had never been this angry. "You cheated on me. With JACKIE! You're a bastard, and she's a whore."_

_"Donna, please. Don't bring her in this."_

_Donna raised her eyebrows. She looked enraged. "Are you seriously defending her? After what she did to me?"_

_Eric stopped breathing for a split second._

_She didn't understand did she?_

_He realized that she thought what they did was consensual._

_Did she see him doing it, and thought they were having a good time? Did she think he just cheated on her, and Jackie was fine with it?_

_This would be a harder conversation than he thought._

_Her heart throbbed. Her emotions were all over the place._

_Everyone was right, weren't they? Love wasn't real._

_There was no point to love._

_She remembered when her and Eric were driving to Kenosha and were having a blast singing "American Pie" by Don McLean._

_"Bye bye, Miss American Pie! Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry!"_

_They were so young then._

_Eric ran his hand over his face. "Donna," his voice trembled. "What do you think happened?"_

_Donna looked appalled. "You and Jackie had a nice fuck! And don't try to convince me otherwise."_

_Eric took a deep breath. "Donna." Eric let out a sob. "Donna, I-"_

_He collapsed on the floor silently crying._

_After a few minutes, he sat up._

_"Donna, Donna."_

_He closed his eyes. He needed to spit it out. He wouldn't lie to her._

_"Jackie was raped."_

_Donna looked with a blank expression on her face._

_Then she looked pale and like she was going to throw up. She walked swiftly to the small trashcan. She began to vomit in it._

_After she relieved her nausea, Donna looked up. Her eyes looked incredulous._

_She looked appalled._

_Tears rolled down her face._

_She was disgusted. Eric raped Jackie? He forcefully had sex with her?_

_This was the man she knew all her life?_

_She felt sick._

_Jackie._

_God, poor Jackie. She loved her. She loved that petite girl so much._

_"Donna. Donna look at me."_

_It hit her. The events revealed finally hit her._

_Her eyes were wide. She covered her mouth with her hand and sobbed silently in it._

_"You disgusting, you-you son of a fucking bitch!" Donna's face squeezed as she wailed into her hand._

_Tears rolled down Eric's face yet again. He stood up and walked toward Donna._

_She saw him coming and charged. She began to push him, still sobbing intensely._

_She shoved and shoved towards the door. "Get out! Get out of my life! Get away!"_

_Eric closed his eyes. He deserved this. He deserved all of this._

_Despite her violence, Eric kept reaching out for her, trying to kiss her goodbye one last time. On the cheek, on the arm, it didn't matter._

_Just one last time._

_"I love you, I love you. I have to leave Point Place, okay? But I love you. I'll love you forever."_

_Donna shoved harder, but her inner strength was getting weaker. Finally she collapsed on the floor onto her knees, her palms upturned, almost in a 'Why me?' position._

_She kept sobbing._

_Eric slowly bent down as Donna cried._

_He began to cry harder._

_He loved her. He always would._

_He crouched on the ground and grabbed her by the shoulders, not caring if she would hurt him._

_He got close to her face and whispered in her ear._

_"It's okay to hate me, okay? It's okay to hate me. You can hate me forever. It's okay to hate me."_

_After repeating it several times, Eric stood up and walked out of the room._

* * *

**Whew! I'm finished! This is a lot longer than I usually write. I hope you guys aren't worn out! (even though I know there are a lot longer chapters on this site)**

**I know the whole chapter was a flashback, we'll be getting back to reality next time.**

**Review, please!**


	11. You Say Goodbye, And I Say Hello

**Hey guys! I'm finally updating! My computer is back and I'll be doing it more frequently! I hope you like this chapter :) I made it just for you.**

**The chapter is named after the song 'Hello Goodbye' by the Beatles.**

**A big thanks to ShanghaiLily for helping me with some of the plot. :)**

**Rated: T for some language**

* * *

Jackie and Hyde, hand in hand, stood at the bottom of the stairs.

One of the two was happy to see an old friend.

One was not.

Hyde released his gentle grip from Jackie's hand and walked over to Eric. "Forman! What brings you to the exciting life of Point Place?" Although Hyde remained Zen, there was excitement in his voice.

His brother was back.

Eric laughed and stood up to clap the bigger man on the back of the shoulder.

It was a weird laugh.

Hyde was good at noticing small things. Especially after working his whole life trying to hide those small things from his own expressions.

It wasn't a 'Hey, man, the guy I've known all my life. I've missed you!' kind of laugh.

It was a 'Be polite in front of the stranger.' kind of laugh.

Jackie quickly went back up the stairs, hoping Eric hadn't noticed her. After all his back was to them.

But in the end, they both knew that Jackie would pretend she didn't see Eric.

And Eric would pretend he didn't see Jackie.

She clenched her jaw as she walked into the kitchen. Why was he here? How did he get here? Why all of a sudden?

She thought back to when she was talking to Mrs. Forman and the older woman had seemed to be lying when asked if she had been keeping in touch with Eric.

Oh. So _that's _why she lied.

She wanted him gone. She wanted him out. HE was not going to barge into Point Place and act like nothing happened over a year ago. He was not going to do that.

But how would she make that decision?

Jackie sat on the bar stool behind the counter and put her head in her perfectly manicured hands.

Over the time period since the rape, Jackie had felt so many different emotions. At first it was confusion. After that passed, there was shame. Then there was sadness.

Then there was hate.

And until this point in time, Jackie had just had a small feeling of all those emotions together, lingering in the back of her heart.

But now, all the emotions came at full throttle and it was at no level to hide.

She felt the small scar on her head from the night of the rape.

She hated Eric Forman.

She hated him.

_November 20, 1979: Point Place Wisconsin_

_The gang was sitting in Eric's Vista Cruiser, having a blast. Eric was driving, Donna was sitting next to him._

_In the back, Jackie had her head lying on Hyde's shoulder._

_They were on their way to a Rolling Stones concert. Although Jackie hated their music, she was happy._

_She readjusted her head and thought for a second._

_She was really happy._

_Here, she had five friends who acted like they only hung around each other because there was nothing better to do._

_But, actually, they couldn't live without each other._

_Eric leaned forward and turned on the radio._

_'Hello Goodbye' by the Beatles was playing._

_"Turn it up! Turn it up!" Jackie laughed._

_Hyde turned towards his girlfriend in shock. Since when did she like the Beatles?_

_Jackie looked up to see her boyfriend giving her a curious eye. "What? It's a good song."_

_Fez began to sing. "You say no, I say yes. You say go, and something else, I don't know!"_

_Eric rolled his eyes and continued driving. "Wow, Fez. That's great."_

_"Hey, moron, you're singing the lyrics wrong." Hyde frogged Fez softly. He would not allow the Beatles to be disrespected by a perverted foreigner._

_"Let's show him how to sing it, then!" Jackie squealed and began to sing. Fez joined in. Well, he joined in as much as he knew how._

_"Hello, hello! I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello."_

_Eric and Donna began singing softly, while a huge, goofy grin formed on Kelso's face._

_Even Hyde began mouthing the words._

_"I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello."_

* * *

Hyde leaned back and put his hands behind his head.

"Damn, it's been a while."

Eric looked down. "Yeah, I've just been a little busy."

Hyde nodded and remained silent.

Eric coughed. "So, how's everyone doing? How's your girlfriend?"

Hyde blinked. "My girlfriend? You mean Jackie?"

"Yeah, that's what I meant."

Hyde breathed before remarking. "Well, I guess she's doing alright." Where had she gone? Why had she left the room?

"How are Kelso and Fez?"

"Fine."

Eric leaned forward to tie his loose shoe.

The awkwardness came back. Why was it so awkward?

"Hyde...I'm, I'm sorry." Eric muttered while still tying his shoe.

"Well, thanks. But just tie the shoe and I think I'll forgive you." Hyde remarked.

"No," Eric laughed as he sat back up. "I mean, about, you know, leaving you."

"Forman," Hyde snorted. "Don't get all mushy."

Eric didn't say anything. Hyde realized it wasn't the time for jokes.

"You know, Forman, it's only been a year, but things have really changed around here."

"I know."

"No, you don't. You don't know it at all, man."

Hyde crossed his leg. He would never understand.

He would never understand anything.

"Are you gonna ask about Donna?"

Eric smiled. Did Hyde really think he didn't ask about her because he _forgot _her?

"I'll cross that bridge when I come to it."

"Whatever happened, man? Things were just shot to hell and Donna's as much of a mess as Jackie."

Eric felt like a piece of wood was lodged in his throat.

"Not to be rude. But I'd rather not talk about it."

Since when was there worries about being _rude _between them?

Hyde looked to the side. "Lemme go see where Jackie went, she was down here when we came down and then she left.

Eric closed his eyes. "Okay."

* * *

Donna walked into the Hub. She was just in to get a quick bite before lunch was over. She was still 'Hot Donna' at the radio station, but she was beginning to grow tired of it. But it paid the bills.

She ordered a small fry and sat down. She remembered her fight with Jackie yesterday. She didn't mean to say those things about how Hyde thought she was a bitch. Or that he wasn't satisfied.

She was just so...angry.

Not angry at Jackie, she didn't have the audacity to be angry at Jackie after what she had been through.

She was angry at what happened, and she took it out on Jackie.

Jackie never understood why Donna didn't tell.

Donna had seen Eric raping Jackie, and just thought it was sex.

But Eric left, but before he did, he gave her the worst news of her life.

It was rape.

It was still so shocking. Eric?

Eric _raping _someone?

She knew he had been drunk, but it had been so...appalling.

There had been only two letters sent between them. _Two letters._

It was weird.

She had felt so empty when he told her. It felt like when you're walking up the stairs in the dark, and you think there's another step.

But there's not.

Like a foot, Donna had pummeled through the air, thinking that her platform was closer than it really was.

Rape?

That wasn't her Eric.

She never told Jackie she'd thought Eric was just cheating on her. She couldn't bear to.

She knew Jackie hated everything about her and would just become more upset about Donna's idea of what happened.

And frankly, she was ashamed of herself for thinking of Jackie that way.

She hated herself for calling Jackie a whore before it happened.

She hated it.

She would tell for Jackie any day. If Jackie asked her, she would run up to the nearest police officer and scream at him everything that had happened to her that past year.

Everything.

But Jackie didn't want her to anymore.

_"You want me to tell, I'll go tell. I'll go tell now. I'll tell Kitty and Red who Eric raped. I'll report everything to the authorities. Is that what you want? I'll do it." Donna informed._

_"No! I don't want you to tell, okay? I fucking don't! But why didn't you tell as soon as you saw? Do you love Eric too much? Too much to defend the girl he raped?"_

_"You don't want me to tell anyway! What the fuck, Jackie?"_

_"You could've done it before I had a chance to stop you. I promised him, Donna!" Jackie's tears began to come out of hiding and ran a race down her face. "I promised."_

_"You promised him you wouldn't tell?"_

_Jackie squeezed her eyes shut. "Yes."_

Jackie pretended to be shallow.

But she had a heart of gold.

* * *

Jackie got up from her place on the bar stool. She opened the fridge.

Hyde entered the room. "Jackie, what the hell?"

Jackie turned around. "What?"

"Where'd you go? Didn't you see Forman down there?"

Jackie shut the fridge. "Yeah, I just don't feel like seeing him."

"What the hell do you mean? He's been gone for a year, Jacks."

"I just don't feel like seeing him, okay? I'll say hi later." Great, the honeymoon-phase was already over.

"Jackie, calm down. I just, I thought you would want to see him." He rubbed the corners of his eyes.

"I don't. Why does it concern you so much anyway?"

"Is this about Donna?"

Jackie paused. Anger filled her veins and she felt her blood grow warmer.

"Caring about Donna a lot, huh?"

"What? No Jackie. God, it's not about her all the time! Maybe you should realize that not everyone in this world is trying to harm you."

Jackie stepped closer to her boyfriend, "Maybe because there are some people in this world that spent half of their life doing just that."

"Here we go." Hyde opened the fridge, and grabbed a beer. He went back downstairs.

Jackie leaned against the counter. Hyde and Jackie had always had a rough relationship in the past, but it was never this bad.

Where were Red and Kitty in all of this? Did they know their rapist son was back in town?

Jackie washed her hands. She hoped he wasn't welcome here.

It was weird, it's not like all these fucked up relationships became fucked up gradually.

It was one night.

One event.

And it changed it all.

She wouldn't tell anyone. She would never be the one that ratted out on Eric. She had promised him. And she would keep that promise.

Because Eric just wasn't himself that night.

_Jackie opened the door and pushed Eric away. She wiped her eyes. She wouldn't tell anyone. She wouldn't get Eric in trouble. It was a mistake. A very brutal mistake._

_She closed her eyes, not daring to look at the mess on the bed that was reduced to whimpers. She knew Eric had been really upset lately. And it was all let out by the alcohol in his blood._

_"I'm not going to tell anyone, Eric."_

Something was definitely off that night. Sure, Eric was upset and drunk.

But something weird was going on.

* * *

Eric watched as Hyde ascended down the stairs again and sat in his famous chair.

He was shocked.

No one knew. No one had told anyone.

Sure, he obviously knew that no one had called the police; he would have been contacted by now.

But Hyde was completely oblivious to what had happened a year ago.

And he knew that if one of the other guys had known, it would have gotten to Hyde.

So the only people who knew Eric raped someone were his parents and Jackie and Donna.

And the only people who knew _who_ he raped...

Jackie and Donna.

But why hadn't they said..._anything_?

"So, Forman." Eric was shaken out of his thoughts. "Remember that party at Anthony's house right before you left?"

Eric's heart pounded against his chest and he felt its vibrations. "Yeah..good party."

"Did you know that we drugged you?"

"You what?"

"We spiked your drink. We gave you some angeldust. You never mentioned it."

"What the fuck, Hyde!" Is that why he did that to Jackie? Was his fucking idiot friends the reason?

"What, Forman?" Hyde looked shocked. "It was a joke. Relax. We didn't give you much at all. Just enough to have you stirred up." He grinned.

Flashes of the rape entered his mind. Was that why he did it? Because the guys drugged him?

"How much fucking drugs did you put?"

"What the fuck? Why are you so pissed? We gave you like, one little dose."

Eric remained silent. That couldn't have been the cause of it. But for a second, he was hopeful.

"What the hell is the matter with you? You're hyperventilating or something, Foreskin?"

"Just forget it, man. Forget it."

Fez walked into the basement and looked at Eric. He looked in shock.

"Eric!" He ran to Eric and jumped on top of him.

"I love you! Where did you go?"

Eric's eyes grew wide as he struggled to push Fez off of him. "Yeah, yeah, ok, buddy. Get off now."

Fez got up as a huge smile formed on his face. "Sorry, in my country, they greet people like that."

"What country is that exactly?"

"Shh." Fez sat down. "So, where have you been, my friend? We've been trying to get a hold of you."

"I'm in Minnesota now."

"Really?" Hyde inquired.

"Yeah, it's close to Wisconsin; there was a teaching job open in Minneapolis. Why not?"

"Wow, Forman. It's still the middle of the school year. So I'm guessing you're fired?"

"Well, laid-off. So, I'm working as a salesman in Macy's. Whadda life, huh?"

Fez's eyes were wide with wonder. "You lucky bastard."

Just then, the three guys heard Kitty and Red Forman enter the house from upstairs.

"And then I told him, say that again and the only _tip _you're gonna get is the one to stay away from my foot up your ass."

Eric grinned as he heard his father. Some things definitely changed, but some things did not.

"Guys, I'm gonna go see my parents." Eric got up. Fez began to get up and Hyde stretched, signaling they were going to come with him.

"No, you guys, uh, stay down here, okay? I'll be right back."

Eric walked up the stairs as his mother's giddy giggles echoed through the house.

He would kill to have it all back.

He entered the kitchen and saw his father at the table and his mother washing some dishes.

Red and Kitty Forman both stopped in their tracks.

Eric stood awkwardly. He was never really a smooth guy.

Her baby was here? He actually came?

"Eric." Kitty whispered, tears forming in her eyes. She walked slowly to her son.

She held his face in her hands; she seemed to be examining it.

A stray tear rolled down her cheek. Her little boy.

"Why are you here?" Red was secretly happy to see his son, but disappointment greatly smothered it.

Eric turned his head to look at his father.

"Mom...mom told me to come on the phone last week."

Red looked at his wife. "Kitty, when did we just decide to make these decisions? We were just talking about this. Why didn't you tell me?"

Kitty sighed and walked to the table. "This is your son. This is his home, Red."

Red shook his head. "No, he has a home in Minnesota. He is an adult. Facing adult consequences." He gave his son a look.

"Dad, please. Can we just, can we just be a family?"

Red stood up. "You put this all on yourself. You know that." He walked past Eric, but strangely patted his shoulder. "You did it."

* * *

**Yay! Finally another chapter! I hope you guys enjoyed! :)**


	12. And My Spirit Is Crying For Leaving

**Another bomb dropping in this chapter! I hope you like it! :)**

**Disclaimer: If I owned, I woudn't have to write this story.**

**Rated: M for language and graphic sex.**

**The chapter is from a lyric from "Stairway to Heaven", by Led Zeppelin (the BEST BAND EVER)!**

* * *

Eric and his mother stood awkwardly in their kitchen as Red walked out through the swinging door. Kitty walked towards the kitchen table and sat down, patting the chair next to her.

"Sit down, honey."

Eric took a deep breath and walked towards the kitchen table where everyone had sat at one point or another. Where him and his five friends would eat dinner like brothers and sisters.

They really are a family.

Well, _were._

Eric sat down.

Kitty clasped her hands together and looked at them. She didn't look mad, Eric suspected that feeling was scoured away a while ago.

She just looked really, really, sad.

"Eric." She kept her eyes down at her hands; she seemed deep in thought,

Eric wondered what she was thinking about.

She closed her eyes. "Eric, you...you have no idea how upset me and your father are."

Eric joined Kitty as he closed his eyes shut.

He knew. He knew he disappointed them. But he couldn't bear to look into his mother's eyes as she expressed the problems his actions had caused.

"I know, Mom."

Kitty remained silent. He didn't blame her.

Out of all the people, Eric guessed his mother took it the worst, other than Jackie, of course.

She loved him so much. _So much. _And she couldn't bear the pain and disappointment she felt for the boy that she raised and loved with all her heart.

She couldn't bear to accept the fact that her son would cause harm to someone else.

Tears began to trickle down his mother's face, as she looked at her hands in a daze. It was one of those expressionless forms of crying, where if the tears weren't falling, you wouldn't know anything was wrong. There was no expression on her face.

When he saw the tears, his eyes filled with the salty liquid as well.

But he swallowed hard and held them back. He didn't deserve any pity.

"Mom, mom." He placed his hand on Kitty's. He looked at her with begging eyes as she continued to look down. "Mom, please, listen to me. Look at me."

She raised her head slowly, her cheeks still wet with fresh tears. "Sweetheart, I..."

She squeezed her eyes tight again. The always cheerful mother who spent her days baking cookies just to see smiles on her children's faces was breaking down.

_Why did he have to do this to her? What did she do wrong?_ She thought she raised her kids well.

She poured her heart into everything she did. She loved her kids with every part of her.

She would literally die for them.

So Kitty Forman couldn't help but wonder what caused Eric's values and morals to come crashing down.

Maybe she wasn't the mother she thought.

Eric squeezed her hand. She opened her eyes and looked into the baby blues.

They looked just like hers.

"Mom. I need you to know...I'm really sorry. I'm-I'm so sorry and-God!" He dropped his head down. He couldn't do this.

He couldn't take it anymore.

The guilt. The guilt that brewed after seeing anger in his father's eyes and disappointment in his mother's.

Why? Why did he have to do that?

Why did he have to hurt Jackie?

He promised himself, right then and there, that one day, he would do something for Jackie. He would do something and make sure she had the most perfect life in the world. He would buy her anything she wanted.

He just wanted her to be happy.

He wanted everyone to be happy.

He lifted his head up. "Mom. Please. Please, look at me."

She looked at him as fresh tears began their descent down the loving woman's face.

His voice wasn't steady, it was trembling. But he choked out everything he wanted his mother to know.

"I promise you. I promise you, I'll make up for everything one day. I...I don't know how, but I will, okay? I promise."

He took a deep breath.

"And, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I did to her. I'm sorry that I caused so much bad stuff. I'm sorry that Dad won't ever look at me the same, and I'm sorry you can barely look at me at all. I'm sorry Donna's gone, and I'm sorry my best friends are strangers now. I'm sorry for everything." Tears ran down his face. He was no longer the man he used to be.

He knew it.

But he would try to be everything that everyone wanted him to be.

It was the best he could do.

Kitty gave Eric a sad smile. She lifted her hand and wiped his tears, before wiping her own. She placed her hand over Eric's hand, which was covering her other one.

"Don't you think you need to apologize to someone else?"

His breath faltered. He had hoped they wouldn't start getting into the specifics of the actual girl he had raped.

He couldn't look into his mother's eyes as he attempted to lie. "I, I really don't know where she is."

Kitty's smile faded as and her face turned grim. "Eric, you and I both know she's somewhere in this house."

Eric looked at his mother in shock.

"H-how do you know?"

Kitty examined her son. He was a man, and yet still her little boy.

"Jackie told me. Just yesterday."

Extreme sadness surged through him. He couldn't stay in Point Place now. He was so ashamed.

He could have died then and there.

Where had he gone in his life? What had happened to him? Over the course of a year he had lost his girlfriend, raped his friend, and lost his parents' faith.

He couldn't take it anymore.

The guilt, the anger, the shock. It was so overwhelming.

Not being able to look at his mother, he closed his eyes.

"Does Dad know?"

Kitty licked her lips. "Not yet, honey."

He nodded, understanding that he would have to know. He never thought his parents' disappointment could get any worse.

But he knew it had.

"Mom," Eric could barely call her that now. "Are-are you gonna tell?"

Kitty closed her eyes.

"I don't know, Eric."

She smiled, remembering her conversation with Jackie this morning, consisting of the brunette begging her not to tell.

After everything.

And how could she tell on her own son, the boy she loved, the boy she helped create, and watch him rot for the rest of his life?

But some things had to be done.

* * *

_July 22, 1980: Point Place, Wisconsin_

_He gently pushed the beautiful girl on the bed, kissing her smooth, silky skin. They fumbled and thrashed as they attempted to rid each other of their clothes that imposed a much hated barrier. Her moans were thick in the air as she reached for the man's curly locks and pulled his head towards her own, moving her lips sensually against his._

_"Let's get these clothes off, huh?"_

_She smiled as he began to unclasp her bra and throw it across the room. He took her in. She was beautiful._

_Wasting no time, he charged for her velvety breasts, kissing the sensitive skin before enclosing her red nipples in his hot mouth._

_Her head was thrown back into the pillow, as she enjoyed the sensations his tongue was giving her._

_The heat between her legs was growing, and she grew impatient. "Fuck me. Now."_

_He smiled as he withdrew his lips from her breasts. "Someone's a little eager, eh?"_

_"Just get to it, loverboy."_

_He unbuckled his belt and threw it among the rest of their clothes. He quickly shimmied out of his extremely tight jeans, stopping for a moment to steal another wet kiss from her._

_He pulled her pink panties off, and threw them on his dresser. As she gave him a questioning look, he smiled. "Don't ask."_

_He quickly placed his hard penis at the tip of her entrance, teasing her and himself._

_Her eyes rolled into the back of her head. "Now! Do it!"_

_"Nope. Someone has to be a little nicer."_

_She grimaced in agony. "Fuck me please, Mr. Hyde?"_

_"There ya go." He thrust into her with a large amount of force, causing her hips to involuntarily buck._

_He started slow and took his time, wanting to hold off his release._

_"Harder. Please." She was begging. "Please just fuck me."_

_She began to move his hips against him, trying to pick up the pace._

_He grabbed her hips and pounded the inside of her._

_"Fuck." He said, enjoying the sensations the sex was giving him._

_"Yes! Oh God, right there, baby, yes. Don't stop. Don't stop."_

_As if he could go any faster, he quickened up even more, going at an extremely fast pace. "Goddamn it!"_

_She closed her eyes as she sensed her release coming. "I love it! I'm gonna cum! God, yes! I'm gonna cum!"_

_"I'm right behind you baby."_

_"Yes! God...! Yes!" She bucked her hips as her orgasm hit her like a shock wave, pulsing through her whole body._

_Hyde soon followed, as he rode through the intense release._

_After calming down, he pulled out and fell beside her, exhausted._

_He looked to her. Guilt surged through him. He didn't love her._

_He sighed. "We can't do this ever again, Donna."_

* * *

**Did you see it coming? Are you mad at Hyde? Donna? Tell me in a review.**

**Enjoy the rest of your weekend!**


	13. Love Was When I Loved You

**Hello, everyone! This is Chapter 13!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything, except for Hyde's heart.**

**Chapter 13 is named off of a lyric from "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion.**

**Hope you like it!**

* * *

He hated himself after that night. He couldn't stand himself. He wanted to rip his heart out and track down Jackie and say "Here. It's yours. It's always been yours."

But he would never have the words to say it. Especially now.

In the end, Hyde didn't know _why _he had sex with Donna. Frankly, he was disgusted in himself for cheating on his girl, and for basically using one of his closest friends.

And throwing another one under the bus.

He wondered what Donna had thought of it. They never talked about that night ever again; it was like it never happened.

However, they both knew it crossed their minds every time they saw each other.

Hyde felt...alone. Well, he didn't know how to actually describe the feeling. He _was _supposed to be the tough guy, after all. Manly men don't whine about how they feel "alone".

He was beginning to feel that Forman had really rubbed off on him over the years.

Okay, so here he was. He had a girl, he guessed loved her, she loved him. She was freakin' hot, and she knew him well. He pretty much had a girl sleeping next to him every night.

But, for about a year, she had changed.

He didn't understand it. If she wanted to just change into a bitch, its fine, he didn't give a damn. But he couldn't understand why. Was he that bad of a boyfriend?

He loved her, everyone knew it. Despite his inability to express his emotions, he knew that his lack of expressions was stupid; considering every fucking person in Point Place knew that he was head over heels for Jackie Beulah Burkhart. And, even though he didn't say his feelings, he thought he had treated her pretty well. He did things he would never even dream of doing for other girls.

Like accepting to participate in the fucked up commercial holiday of Valentine's Day.

Or giving her his t-shirt. His ZEPPELIN shirt.

But in a split second, the love of his life struck at him when he was least expecting it.

And, Goddamn it, it hurt.

He remembered when he was really into her. Like infatuated with her. And he brushed the strong feelings off, saying it was only because the relationship was new.

But the five months passed. Then a year. Then two.

And even though there were some break-ups in the relationship, after all this time, he still felt like it was their first day dating.

What hurt him, what really killed him and broke his fucking heart, was that he wasn't sure if she felt the same way anymore.

* * *

Jackie winced in pain as another rush of unpleasant feelings surged between her legs.

She would make Eric pay. And she would scare him out of Point Place if she had to.

She was small, but she was the best shin-kicker in the tri-state area, after all.

She sighed as she recalled her and her boyfriend's latest fight. She knew Steven would be confused if she suddenly didn't go see someone who was supposed to be one of her closest friends, even if they did hate each other before it all happened.

But the hate before and the hate after was entirely different.

She was ashamed, too. She was ashamed that she wasn't strong enough to push him off of her. She was ashamed that she had been so violated.

And she was ashamed for Eric too.

It was like you had a little child, young and naive, and you go to the store and when you walk out, the alarms go off, because the kid was sneaking something out.

You become ashamed, because you love the child.

And because the child didn't know any better.

She knew Kitty and Red were just as ashamed of him as she was, and scared.

Not scared of what would happen to Eric, they would let him get what he deserved when it came to legal matters.

No, they were scared about what their son had become.

She knew it would be a very bad situation once Eric saw his parents, and every time she thought about it, she got a sick feeling in her stomach. She had begged, pleaded with Kitty not to tell Eric that she knew who he had raped, and not to call the authorities.

It was crazy, wasn't it? Here, someone was raped, violated, put to shame, and she didn't want her assaulter to get in a trouble or feel any pain whatsoever.

What, was she going to rub his feet, too?

She didn't understand anything anymore.

She got off of Laurie's old bed and went out. She heard Eric and Kitty's voices as she walked down the hall. As she walked, Red came out of the bathroom.

"Mr. Forman, did you see Eric?"

He kept walking.

She rolled her eyes and continued. If she wanted to avoid Eric, she'd have to go through the front door. As she reached the bottom of the stairs, she thought if it was worth it.

Why should she hide herself from the world? Why should she isolate herself from the people she loved for one man that was back in her life?

She marched towards the kitchen door.

Opening the door was the saddest thing she ever saw.

Kitty and Eric were both sobbing and holding each other's hands.

Jackie covered her mouth and cried into her hand.

* * *

**Sorry for the short chapter guys! It was basically a filler-chapter; I wanted to get into Jackie and Hyde's head. Next chapter will have more action and an event that will change the direction of the story! So stay tuned, and please review!**


	14. We're Just Ordinary People

**Chapter 15 is up! I hope you like it :)**

**Disclaimer: I will sadly never own That '70s Show.**

**This chapter is based off a lyric from the song "Ordinary People" by John Legend**

**Thanks to my Beta Reader, Lavedovanera!**

* * *

Kitty looked up to see a distraught Jackie standing in the doorway, crying as much as she and her son were. She wiped her tears and started to get up out of her seat. Should she leave them alone? Should she stay in case...something happened?

She suddenly felt disgusted of herself. He would never do that, especially after what happened.

Of course, she also never imagined Eric doing what he did to Jackie before it happened.

She decided to leave them alone, while she contemplated what to do. She was very confused at this point. Should she call the police? Should she be the one that sends her own child to jail? Hell, at this point, she didn't know whether to tell Red that it was Jackie that was raped.

Jackie snapped out of her sobbing and looked at Kitty. She couldn't just leave Jackie like this.

"No...No, don't leave, Kitty. I'm just going outside." She didn't want to be left alone with Eric. She didn't want terrible memories to start coming back.

Meanwhile, Eric closed his eyes as he saw the fear in Jackie's eyes. He wanted to take everything back. Everything. He wanted to take back all the times he had called Jackie a bitch, or made fun of how she treated Kelso, or even talked bad about her behind her back. Hell, he even wanted to take back the time he volunteered Jackie to give away her ticket when the gang went to the Ted Nugent concert so long ago.

However, he wanted to take back January 10, 1980 the most.

He rested his head in his hands, not caring if Jackie could see how much of a mess he was. He sniffed, wondering why he even came back to Point Place.

Kitty continued walking. As she brushed past Jackie, she muttered in her ear "You don't have to talk to him if you don't want to, honey. But I need to clear my head. Please." She gave a sad smile at the younger girl and went through the swinging door.

Jackie sighed. She _did not, would not,_ talk to Eric. She couldn't take it. She stole a look at Eric laying his head in his hands. It reminded her of when he was wailing pathetically after he raped Jackie.

He was just as vulnerable as she was.

Jackie remembered the conversation she had with her boyfriend that one day. That talk about happiness. And Jackie being Jackie, she hated him as she finally realized he was right.

_"One day, you're gonna look back. You're gonna look back and think 'Wow, I was so happy back then'. But you weren't. Because you wanted more."_

People did always want more, didn't they? They worried about the littlest things, not even caring that there were other people dying to be in their shoes.

Jackie wished she had listened to Steven.

Forcing herself to face her problems, not to mention her fears, she walked over and sat at the table and took a deep breath.

She was going to be happy. Even if it meant talking to the man that took that very emotion away from her.

"Get your head up."

Eric looked up at Jackie with sad eyes. He looked at her and immediately felt like he was going to vomit. He messed up the poor girl. He ruined her life and many others as well.

"Please." Eric gave her a look that showed all his pain inside him, all his guilt. His one word signified that he didn't have the audacity to look at this girl, let alone talk to her.

Jackie squinted at the scrawny boy. Really? He was telling _her _what to do? He would not try shut her up."Please what? I'm telling you to be a man and look at me." Jackie paused. "You owe me at least that."

Eric cringed internally. He wondered if Jackie knew how much she was actually owed.

Jackie held her breath. She was not as brave as she was trying to be.

Eric wiped his face roughly and looked Jackie dead in the eye. He paused, staring into her eyes. "I'm sorry. That's all that I can really say right now." Eric stood up and walked towards the swinging door.

He stopped as he heard Jackie's feminine voice ringing in his ears. "Really, Eric? I came here facing my fears. You should face yours too."

Eric sighed. He felt his eyes sting with angry tears. She was so right. He remembered how he promised to do what ever this girl wanted him to do. As he walked towards the table again, he thought about the word Jackie had used. 'Fears.' He wondered if she was scared of him.

Blinking his tears away, he sat down.

Jackie closed her eyes and gritted her teeth. She longed for 1979. She longed to not being forced to have these conversations. She longed for so many things.

"I need to know something."

Eric looked up. He was surprised she hadn't screamed at him or sobbed profanities at him yet. That's what he would expect from any girl if he had done something like that to them.

Jackie took a deep breath.

"Why?" Jackie inquired.

His heart began to beat faster. He didn't know why! Did she really expect him to release all of his inner thoughts and motives? He was drunk that night.

"I mean, why did you come here?" Jackie itched her chin nervously.

Eric gave a sigh of relief. She wasn't asking why he had done what he had last year.

He thought over the question, it _was _a pretty good one. He tried to go to the depths of his brain and look for a reasonable answer. He decided to tell the truth.

"Like you said," Eric bit his lip. "I need to face my fears."

Jackie scoffed and turned her face away from the brown-haired man. "It's so bad here. You should've stayed where ever you came from." Jackie squeezed her eyes shut. She didn't care that Eric could see what he did to her. "Steven and I are gone. The love is gone. And me and Donna- oh god." She put her head down as tears began to roll down her delicate face. She didn't care that she was venting to Eric.

Eric winced as he realized he had done this to the brunette.

Jackie took a trembling breath, trying to regain her composure. She looked up. "Donna doesn't even care. She didn't from the beginning. She just..." Jackie took another unsteady breath. "She just stood there." Jackie collapsed in her hands, letting her tears flow. "She never told anyone."

Eric sat looking shocked at the petite brunette. "Jackie… Jackie I-" He put his hands in front of him and looked down at them. "She didn't know. She thought...she thought we were having sex."

Jackie looked up, shocked, as the news hit her. "What? She…She never told me that." She wiped her eyes while keeping them on the man in front of her. Why didn't Donna tell her? After all the arguments, all the pain, the tension between them, why hadn't she defended herself?

Eric looked at Jackie. "Well then," Eric looked away from Jackie, keeping his eyes on the shelf to his left. "Why didn't you tell? Why...why hasn't Donna told yet?"

Jackie stared at Eric for a few seconds. She stared until he could feel her gaze on him. The few seconds felt like hours.

"Because I promised you I wouldn't. And I forced her not to."

* * *

Donna walked out of her house, gently shutting the door behind her. 'Well, it's been a long time since I've seen the sun." She chuckled slightly as she stuffed her hands in her coat pockets and kicked the snow that covered her driveway.

She sighed; allowing herself to take in the warmth of the sun, despite the fact it was the dead of winter. She had to admit, it was beautiful out there and she wished she hadn't been shutting herself in her room for so long. She walked without a destination, wondering if she should go to the basement and risk seeing Jackie again.

It was crazy. A year and a half ago she would have never, _ever _imagined a point in her life where something caused her to worry about bumping into Jackie. Before the rape, there was no worrying that she would have an awkward or bitter moment and was forced to attempt to avoid her best friend.

But things change, don't they?

Donna laughed bitterly as she walked towards her porch. She'd wait for a while in case she saw Jackie and Hyde leave for their apartment.

Parked behind the Vista Cruiser and the El Camino, there was another car in the Forman's' driveway. It brought a sense of longing as she realized it looked exactly like the car Eric had bought for himself after he graduated.

A 1963 Ford Galixie, in a light powder blue.

She smacked herself internally as she found herself wishing it was actually Eric.

She licked her lips and hugged herself, trying to keep the cold away. She missed Eric. She thought about him all day, every day. The littlest things like imagining him saying "The toast has launched, Leia!" every time her toaster popped her bread up. The bigger things were worse, like seeing his pictures in the Forman's' house that brought so many nostalgic memories.

She hated herself for missing him that much.

* * *

Hyde punched Fez in the arm. "If you ever try to throw your girly little "bouncy ball" in that 'area' again, I'm going to shove your head up your ass." Fez shuffled away, keeping his head down as went towards his seat.

"Where is Eric?" Fez inquired.

"Beats me, I heard Red telling Forman that he screwed himself over, but that's all" Hyde grinned. "I hope he already broke something."

Kelso burst through the door. "WHERE IS HE?"

Hyde uncrossed his leg, scowling at his dumb friend for breaking the silence. "Kelso, do me a favor and drink some of Mrs. Forman's detergent behind me. Then I'll tell you."

Kelso flashed his huge, goofy grin. "Aw, man I'm not falling for that one again!" He wiped the small bit of drool with his sleeve and jumped on the couch. Looking between his friends, he asked again. "Seriously, where is he? I just thought of something, maybe if I tell him I'm moving back to Point Place, he'll want to move too!"

Hyde rolled his eyes. "Don't make the poor kid move even farther away."

Kelso squirmed in his seat, attempting to get comfy. "_Gilligan's Island_ again? We've seen this episode twice." Kelso rolled his eyes. "Nothing ever changes around here!"

"Sorry Kelso, not everyone has a life of nailing every girl in Point Place." Fez rolled his eyes sarcastically, before his demeanor changed to excited, "Although I myself would enjoy that." Fez stood up. "I'm going to find Eric. Unlike you Hyde, I think Eric will like Kelso's news. So good day."

* * *

Jackie gripped the phone tightly as she waited on hold. _'How long does it take to get a hold of the freaking guy?'_

She absentmindedly twirled a curl with her pointer finger and forcefully blew air out of her mouth impatiently. "Come on!" Jackie rolled her eyes.

"Ms. Burkhart?"

Jackie straightened and held the phone more upright. "Yes, yes. Um, Dr. Berry, correct?"

"Yes, this is him."

"Hi, like I told your nurse, I have a few, um questions, and I would like to schedule an appointment." Jackie held her breath.

"Yes. She was very vague. Could you explain to me what's going on again?"

Jackie rolled her eyes. She didn't want to explain it again.

"There's a pain. Down..._there_."

"Excuse me?"

Jackie had lost her patience. "It feels like I have a freakin' knife in my vagina!"

She waited. There was silence on the other end.

Jackie sighed. "Listen, I'm sorry. I-I just have had a really bad day."

She heard the doctor clear his throat. "It's fine. How long have you had it?"

"For about a year." Jackie took a deep breath. "You see, Doctor I..." She had to let it out.

She closed her eyes. Jackie never would have thought she would have to have this conversation. She had never thought she would have to deal with a pain in her most private area.

She never thought she would ever feel so scared.

She took another deep breath. She had to do it. Had to.

"I was raped a year ago."

She laid her head in her hands. There. All better, right?

No.

Meanwhile, a foreigner stood in the basement doorway in shock, with eyes bulging out, as orange popsicle juice ran down his trembling hand.


	15. My Heart Is Broke, But I Have Some Glue

**This chapter is very Donna-Eric centric, as we get into their heads and they even have a conversation. **

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own.**

**Chapter 15 is based off a lyric from the song "Dumb" by Nirvana.**

**Thanks to my Beta Reader, La Vedovanera =)**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Eric, Kelso, and Hyde were all now comfortably sitting in the basement. The lights from _Charlie's Angels _on the TV flickered onto their bored faces.

"Okay, how about...the WATERPARK?" Kelso stood up from his chair.

Hyde looked at Kelso, annoyed. "Kelso, there is no water park in Point Place." He paused. "I doubt there's even a Slip n' Slide."

Eric shot a glance at Hyde. "Unless you count that time we slid through Big Rhonda's puke at that wedding."

Kelso grinned. "Aw yeah. That was fun."

Hyde even let out a small smile. "Just when you thought she couldn't eat another piece of cake. Whammo."

The three people sat back and recalled the times they had shared before it all came crumbling down.

Eric sadly looked at the two men in front of him. Men. That's what they were now weren't they?

Men.

Eric felt sick to his stomach as he realized that they were grown up. They weren't rambunctious teenagers. They had already zipped through that stage.

They were at the point in their lives where if you made a mistake, you couldn't run to Mom and she'd make it all better.

Eric learned that the hard way.

He felt it coming. He heard the door open and without looking, he knew. He saw it on Hyde's face.

He turned his eyes, bracing himself.

And God she looked beautiful.

Standing there with a shocked expression on her face stood the pretty redhead that had won his heart so many years ago.

He wondered if she knew that she still had it.

Donna opened her mouth. She was searching for words.

Everyone in the room knew that there were none.

Finally she darted her eyes down, turned right back around, and left the basement.

He just kept on losing, didn't he?

* * *

Kitty put her head in her small hands. She looked over at the man sleeping on her bed.

She still loved him so much.

She had been so lucky to have Red. He was the peak of her life. He was the perfect man. She had a perfect life.

But why didn't Jackie ever have a chance? Why couldn't she have the perfect life that Kitty had?

She hated to say it, but she imagined something like this would happen to Laurie.

Never Jackie.

She stood up, trying to keep herself from waking Red up.

She opened a drawer and rummaged through it. Finding the envelope, she took the paper out and looked at her son's chicken scratch scribbled on to it.

She began reading it. Again.

_I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. _

_I don't know why._

_You don't have to forgive me, just please don't forget me._

_I'm your son. I'll always be your son._

_I'm sorry._

The words continued to ring in her head as she wiped a stray tear from her eye, and shut the paper back in the drawer.

* * *

Eric looked between his two friends, searching for any signs of anger towards him.

He had grown so...clingy. He needed reassurance so badly because he had lost so much in his life.

He just saw his friend's faces cringing.

And that was okay for now.

He stood up. "I'm gonna go see if I can talk to her." He raked his hand through his brown hair.

Hyde shook his head. "How do you always manage to think of things that make everything worse?" He shook his head in sarcastic amazement.

Eric ignored the curly-haired man and walked towards the door. He stopped as he heard a more serious tone coming from Hyde's mouth.

"Forman," Hyde didn't know how to tell him. He tried to simply tell the truth. Eric didn't need sarcasm or teasing. He needed the truth.

"Just do the right thing."

Eric turned around and gave a curt nod. He gently messed up Kelso's dark hair and walked out. The two remaining men contemplated on their friend's dilemma.

"He's screwed."

"Yep."

* * *

Donna looked up at the ceiling. It had gradually turned from a pure, smooth white to a cracked uneven tone.

She wished life was like that-gradually getting worse instead of having it all tumble down at once.

But maybe the cracks in her life, like the ones on her old ceiling, were easier to handle when it all crashed down at once.

It certainly didn't feel like it.

She rolled over on her stomach. How could she be so stupid? It _was_ Eric's Galaxie in the driveway.

She groaned, wondering how long he'd be here. She wished he would just go away. Go back to stupid Minnesota and leave everyone in Point Place alone.

She thought she would be married by now, specifically to Eric.

Instead, she was trying to avoid him at all costs because he had broken her so badly.

She wondered how Jackie would take it and realized that she probably would never know because she and Jackie would never have a heart to heart conversation that didn't include the word 'bitch'.

Sighing, she realized she would never be able to really get into the minds of Jackie, Eric and Hyde.

Hyde. She hated him for what she did with him. She never showed it, she tried to be friends with him, but deep down she resented him.

It was foolish, considering she was as much to blame as him.

She just needed a release, and not just a physical one. She needed to feel.

She needed the numbness to go away. She needed to be held.

She needed to just _breathe_.

She realized that Hyde would never be the one to help her with these things after he turned his back to her in the bed and told her that they could never do it again.

It was a relief that he would never comfort her. Deep down inside, this was because it took away one less person between her and Eric.

One down, six billion to go.

She heard a knock on her door. She didn't have any question to who it was.

She refused to answer, thinking the scrawny boy behind the door that separated him would leave.

She was wrong.

He walked in apprehensively and stood looking at Donna.

She stood up and walked over to Eric. "If you don't leave I'm gonna-"

She was cut off by Eric's lips meeting hers. After the initial shock faded away, she felt tears sting her eyes as she realized she missed this feeling.

But it wasn't enough.

She pushed him away and slapped him across the face.

"Get out! Now." Donna wiped the tears on her face away roughly before pointing at the door.

Eric winced. "Please. Please." He looked at her with sad eyes, eyes that reflected the hell he had gone through over the past year.

Donna walked away, not be able to bear the emotions that resulted from being so close him.

"I don't want to see your face ever again. Don't you understand?" Her eyes welled with tears once again, and she stopped trying to wipe them away.

Eric bit his lip. He wanted her to love him again. Donna sat on the bed.

"Get out of my fucking house before I call the cops."

Eric stood appalled. "Okay...okay. But please Donna just-"

"Out!" she reached for the phone.

He needed to tell her. "Tell Jackie that you thought I was cheating on you!" Eric paused, quieting down. She could call the cops. He didn't care. "She needs to know."

Donna's anger-stricken face faltered and she dropped the phone on her bed. "What?"

Eric took a deep breath. "I just...I want you and her to be, you know, good again. It's the best thing that can really happen to me right now and-" Eric dropped his head. "I just want everyone to be happy." He mumbled.

Donna felt a dozen emotions surge through her. He looked so helpless, like a child, and yet she could see over the past year he had become a man.

She loved him as much as she despised him.

As she looked at her ex something dawned upon the redhead. '_Did Eric talk to Jackie while he was here?' _She kind of hoped it was true. She almost wanted...she needed everything back. She missed everything and everyone and she longed for the little things that she had taken for granted for so many years.

"You talked to Jackie?" Donna asked, trying to keep her resentful demeanor on her face.

Eric lifted his head. "Yeah." He shook his head. "Donna, Why? Why didn't you ever tell her?"

Donna felt ashamed as she realized her and Eric were conversing. Nonetheless, she let out the emotions that she had been bottling up. "I just...I don't know. I didn't want her to feel bad. I felt ashamed of myself for thinking that, because no one on this earth knows, no one will ever know the things I thought to myself about her when I thought, you know, you guys were just having sex." She inhaled, needing to take a break.

"I wanted her to die. I wanted bad things to happen to her. And then I found out that...that you raped her and..." She broke down. She put her head in her hands as short stifled cries came from her throat. She wiped her nose, still making sobbing sounds. "And I found out something bad _did _happen to her."

Donna could never forgive herself. She wanted to go back to that day and tell on Eric before she had any thoughts, before emotions got in the way.

"But Donna, why-why didn't you ever tell on me when I told you?"

She sniffed. "She won't let me. Jackie tells me-" She let out a hiccup and squinted, not being able to understand her former best friend. "She told me she made a promise? To you? That no one would ever find out. And I don't want to make our friendship worse by calling the cops."

Eric's heart fell to his stomach, as he shamefully wished that the reason Donna hadn't called the police on him was because she loved him. Nevertheless, he understood. Deep down, he didn't want that to be the case. Although he thought otherwise before, Eric didn't want Donna to love him. He didn't deserve it. He deserved to be told on.

He was so close to ratting himself out. At least it would release the guilt.

Eric looked around her room. It hadn't changed much. Zeppelin and Janis Joplin posters took up space on her walls. She had her desk in the same place. Even her bed sheets were the same.

He then turned back to Donna. That was another story. Once a strong, hard-headed woman was now reduced to a weakened girl who felt helpless because she couldn't _do _anything. She couldn't change _anything._

She had never done anything wrong, and yet she paid the price for it all.

Eric blinked his tears away before Donna could see them.

He didn't want to be a burden on her anymore.

He turned his head and walked out, closing the door behind him.

* * *

Hyde, Kelso, and Eric were yet _again _sitting on the couch.

Hyde examined his closest friend, his brother. He had been really quiet since he talked to Donna.

Ouch. He knew it wouldn't be all rainbows and sunshine. He didn't even blame Donna, really. Eric ditched her.

But then again, Hyde and Donna back-stabbed two people when they slept together, and that changed _everything _in the game.

He felt guilty as he realized he cheated on his girlfriend, and screwed over his best friend.

The door opened to reveal a distraught foreigner who was out of breath.

Between gasps, Fez tried to explain what obviously caused his distress.

"My Jackie was raped!"

* * *

**What do you predict will happen next? Please review!**


	16. The People I Meet Go Their Separate Ways

**Wow! Long time no see, huh? School got the better of me, and so did writers' block. I hope I haven't lost too many readers. Here's Chapter 16. Enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: I am pretty damn sure I'm not affiliated with 'That '70s Show'. **

**Chapter 16 is based off of lyric from Bon Jovi's "Wanted Dead or Alive"**

**Thanks to my Beta Reader La Vedovanera! **

* * *

_March 29, 1978: Point Place, Wisconsin_

_"Why, Eric?" Jackie dropped her head in her hands. "Why would he do that to me? Am I not good enough for him? Is a skanky nurse better?" The young brunette was frustrated. She couldn't take the frustration anymore. _

_Eric looked side to side, hoping Donna was near. What was he supposed to do? Give her a sucker and read her a bedtime story? _

_"Uh, Jackie. I mean...I just don't know what to tell you." Eric rubbed his hands together nervously._

_Jackie looked at him from her seat next to him on the couch. Her lip trembled. Her eyes began to well up and she finally broke down, grabbing onto Eric's plaid shirt. He felt the wetness of the tears on his clothing._

_'Shit.'_

_He readjusted himself on the couch, and awkwardly put his hand on the small her back, soothing the mess that was known as Jackie._

_"It's gonna be okay, Jackie. It really is."_

* * *

"What?" Hyde jumped from his seat and took off his jacket. "Is it that faggot Mitch? I'll kill him, I swear to God I'll rip him to shreds!" Hyde pushed past Fez and began to open the door. Kelso and Fez jumped up to grab the furious Hyde.

"Hyde! Hyde! Calm down, my friend. It had happened a year ago."

"Where did you hear this?" asked Hyde, as he pulled himself from the grip of his friends and started pacing the basement. "Where is she?" Hyde kicked the chair in front of him as rage went through him. He wasn't just angry, he was scared. "Goddamn it! God-fucking dammit, where is she?" Everything flashed in front of him, the blood, the emotions, the fear. It all made sense.

Meanwhile, Eric was in a daze. He was over. Hyde would murder him, and he would be disowned by everyone he had ever loved. His life was over.

His life became over after he ruined Jackie's.

His lip trembled. He couldn't cry. He couldn't, not in front of the guys. He looked at Hyde, who was sitting on his chair, rubbing his eyes roughly.

The curly-haired man jumped back up and began to go upstairs. "What the hell am I doing? I need to find her."

"No, Hyde!" Eric ran to Hyde. He wasn't stopping him in fears of becoming a bloody pulp from Hyde's fist. But he knew that if Jackie knew that her boyfriend found out, it would break her to pieces. "Give it time, just...man, just trust me."

Hyde yanked his arm away from the skinnier man's grip. "What the hell are you talking about, Forman? She's a victim of rape. Someone needs to connect with her."

"Hyde, not to be rude, but you've never been the one to 'connect' with people." Eric covered his face with his arms, bracing himself for a bash in the head.

He looked instead to find a dirty look on Hyde's face. He almost looked...hurt. Hyde gritted his teeth and looked at Eric for another spit second, before pushing him out of the way and marching to his room.

Kelso looked between the two remaining men. He was scared, his eyebrows were raised in fear for his ex-girlfriend.

"You guys?" Kelso looked like a lost puppy.

* * *

"No. We need to find out who did this. Hyde won't be thinking rationally and he'll come up with assumptions and he'll just make everything a mess." Kelso was in his cop mode again, surprisingly switching into a more mature character.

Donna looked in a daze from her spot in Hyde's chair. She snapped out of it, nodding her head vigorously and pretending to be surprised, before shooting a glance at Eric.

"I say we spy on the goddess!" Fez gave a naughty grin.

Eric gave a disgusted look at Fez. "Really, Fez? Someone just raped Jackie and-" Eric finally stopped, as it dawned on him who started this mess in the first place.

"But we can't tell Jackie. She'll just shut down. We need to investigate. Talk to the doctor Fez told us about."

Suddenly Hyde walked in. "Okay," he said, rolling his eyes. "I'll be a part of your stupid little operation." He paused. "And I wont bring it up to her. But I'll have you know I'm only participating in this for Jackie."

He wasn't sure how he would keep his mouth shut near Jackie, knowing that someone had hurt her, violated her. He squeezed his eyes shut. He needed to grow a pair.

"Once we get enough information, we can confront Jackie, Eric's parents, and the police. We're gonna smash the creep who did this to a pulp!"

Donna exploded, a stream of tears racing down her face. She put her head down, not wanting to show her sadness.

"What the hell's the matter, Donna?" Hyde inquired.

But Eric knew. He knew why.

He flashed Donna a look. It had no words, but she could translate it. It was something they had become good at doing with each other over the years. It said, "Don't worry about me, Donna. I deserve it."

She gave her ex an angry scowl; she wasn't going to let him get closer to her.

She sniffed, wiping her eyes. She looked down at the ground. "Nothing's wrong. I'm just...worried about Jackie."

Hyde nodded. "Yeah," he said quietly. "Me too."

Eric nodded. But he was worried to death about three people. One of them was himself.

* * *

_January 4, 1977: Point Place, Wisconsin:_

_"Yeah?" snorted Eric. "And how is that exactly going to happen? Are you gonna invest in a lighter shade of nail polish?" He smiled as he heard Donna's laugh from the other end of the couch._

_"I don't know, Eric. But you wait and see. I'm going to make something of myself. None of you believe me. None of you believe in me." Jackie closed her eyes, probably imagining her fantasy life in her head. "But I'm going to be on top of the world. No one is ever going to stop me. You wait and see."_

Eric wiped a stray tear from his green eyes. She was so close.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! :)**


	17. Author's Note (I'M SO SORRY)

**I absolutely HATE to let you down by putting up a Author's Note. I know how annoying they are. Ugh. Anyway, I just wanted to reassure everyone who has been pming me that the tory is NOT discontinued. Nor will it ever be. :) **

**However, I'm suffering major writer's block. I'm just trying to get the plot all settled...it gets very difficult at this point in the story. **

**Anyway, if anyone has any suggestions or ideas, please feel free to pm me or leave a reivew!**

**I haven't given up on you guys yet. (Heh...get it? Don't give up? Heh..heh...okay.)**

**3**


	18. I Hope Your Conscience Eats At You

**Hey everyone! I finally grew some balls and did the best I could with updating the story and overcoming my writer's block. **

**This chapter is based off of a lyric from "Stan" by Eminem.**

* * *

Jackie Burkhart sat in the living room with the woman who was the closest thing she ever had to a mother, Kitty Forman. THe elder woman had a affectionate arm wrapped around the beautiful brunette. Jackie sat nervously, tightly grasping her expensive wool coat. The two woman looked like they were about to expose themself to the freezing weather outside and go somewhere. However, neither of the women looked like they wanted to.

Jackie looked out the window that was behind the Formans' organ. She admired the white sky that was touched by the reflection of the pure white on the ground. It was snowing outside, and it looked beautiful.

It's funny to think that from the inside looking out, something can look so beautiful and perfect. But if you take a step closer, you realize it is indeed _not _perfect. Far from it.

Jackie scoffed and realized she was like the weather of Point Place. Beautiful from the outside, and cold and terrible on the inside.

But she hasn't always been like that.

Kitty turned to Jackie and lightly patted her knee. "Are you ready to go, sweetie?" Kitty was trying to stay strong, but Jackie could see the circles under the poor woman's eyes. Jackie wouldn't bet that she had been sleeping very well, especially after the revelation.

There was a lot on Kitty's mind, and decisions to make. Her son..comitted a crime. Her daughter-well, a girl that was practically her daughter-was the victim, which made the situation worse.

Kitty was a nurse, she was someone who cared for people that had been sick or hurt.

She healed.

And yet, no amount of training could ever prepare her to heal all those that were affected by this catastrophe.

Jackie nodded her head. "Yeah, I'm ready." She was going to do this. She was going to be able to get through this.

The two women heard Fez and Kelso in the kitchen. Kitty could vaguely hear sniffling, but she disregarded it-the two boys were always happy.

"Yes, we'll...we'll figure it out and help."

"Aw c'mon little buddy, there's nothing a little bit of paprika can't fix."

Kitty cringed as she tried to block out what she had just heard from the handsome brunette in the kitchen.

"Hey, that reminds me! Remember the PCP at Anthony's party?"

"Huh?"

Kitty frowned...PCP was...something she _really_ didn't want to hear them talk about.

Jackie stiffened. Anthony's party. That's where it all happened.

That's when the world fell apart.

"You don't remember? Hyde gave it to us to put in Forman's drink!" Kelso gave a goofy grin.

"Ah yes! The poor fucker had no chance!"

Kelso giggled. "I accidentally put eight doses instead of two."

Fez was quiet.

After a while, a slap was heard and a moan of pain from Kelso thus was heard as well.

"You disgusting baboon! You could've killed Eric!"

Another smack.

"I'm sorry!"

* * *

Hyde walked from the basement upstairs. As Kelso and Fez turned, they could see Hyde's eyes were red.

The young man looked like a mess. His glasses were bent-it was a good prediction that they had broken from the slam everyone had heard from downstairs earlier.

He had on the same t-shirt he had been wearing earlier. His hair look unkempt and his face was pale. He looked tired and emotionally drained.

Hyde walked to the fridge, giving the two boys at heart a dirty look as he grabbed a beer-although it seemed like he had just had one a little bit ago.

"What are you morons talking about?"

Disregarding the sickly way Hyde looked, Fez got excited all over again. "Kelso gave Eric eight doses instead of two!"

Hyde turned from the fridge. "Did that wimp ask for your little brother's grape cough medicine again?" Hyde looked around and lowered his voice. "Have you guys seen Jackie? I just...I can't handle not bringing this up to her any longer. Man, this is serious."

"We've tried to do some snooping. But my magnifying glass is broken!"

Hyde would've usually insulted Kelso in a way that-although it wasn't obvious-would indicate that he was teasing. This time however, it was not the same.

Hyde slammed the bottle of beer down and took a step closer to Kelso. "You need to fucking get a move on. Stop playing games. I've been trying to figure things out. I just spent three hours calling everyone I remember seeing at Anthony's party. It's time you get the fuck going."

Kelso's eyes widened as he looked at Hyde. There was no anger on his face. It was worse...there was disgust.

Kelso swallowed. "Okay."

Fez looked between the two men. "Um..Hyde." He decided to change the subject. "Do you know what Kelso did? He gave Eric eight doses of PCP instead of two!"

Hyde raised his eyebrows. "Are you fucking insane? You know what that shit does to him you dumbass?"

"What happens?"

Hyde rolled his eyes. "Hmm, let's fucking see, shall we? Confusion, agitation, paranoia, violence. Every-fucking-thing!" Hyde sighed.

"I dunno what any of that means," Kelso stated. "Oh! Except for the violence part!"

Hyde rolled his eyes once more. "Let's just say he could probably be sent to the same institution as that lady at the Hub who said her penis was on fire."

Kelso blinked.

"I told you only two doses, anyway, you idiot."

"I thought you said eight!"

"What do you mean, Kelso? How in the hell does two rhyme with eight?"

Kelso was relieved to see that Hyde had briefly forgotten about the tragedy and was back to insulting him in a half-joking way.

But Hyde _was _right. They needed to figure this mess out.

* * *

Jackie and Kitty were still on the couch. Their eyes were very different, the younger girl's eyes were mismatched, the elder woman had a light blue color. The first had smooth skin around them. The latter had crows feet around them. There was one thing similar about them though.

Both pairs of eyes had tears in them.

They had heard almost everything, except they heard very little after Hyde asked if Eric was asking for children's medicine again. There were whispers and mumbles, but it began to get loud again when Fez announced something horrifying-Eric was drugged when a practical joke went too far due to the dumb boy's stupidity.

The tears were flowing, because the two women realized that something was not right that night.

However, it was fair to see that they were tears of relief, tears of joy.

Jackie squeezed her eyes shut as the flashbacks came rushing back.

_'Eric stumbled on the bed. He was still extremely drunk. Jackie looked up and saw he was beginning to cry. "I'm so sorry, Jackie. I didn't mean to hurt you," he slurred. He looked in her eyes, searching.'_

Jackie rubbed her soft face roughly with her manicured hands. She wanted her brain to stop. She wanted everything to stop.

_'She heard knocking on the door as Eric began pleading. She could hear that he was sobbing loudly.'_

Jackie threw her head back, her eyes still shut. She wish she could forget. Go to sleep and just _forget._

_'"Please, Jackie! I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't know you'd take it that way." _

The broken girl took a deep, sharp breath as she looked in sadness at the equally broken woman beside her.

"Let's go, Mrs. Forman."

* * *

**Oh, and one more thing. I'm sorry that this chapter is so short. **


	19. You Got to Lose to Know How to Win

**Hey guys! Finally grew some balls and decided to update. I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. It took me a long time to finish this chapter. But voilà! Enjoy!**

**This chapter is based off of a lyric from the song "Dream On" by Aerosmith. **

* * *

Jackie, in the doctor's office, looked at her bare feet as she swung them from her seat on the examination table. Her gown was scratchy and she was very uncomfortable. She was still shocked about what she heard.

So, what, now her boyfriend puts drugs in his friends drinks just for kicks?

Jackie knew deep inside that Hyde was just trying to have a little fun, and two doses probably didn't do any damage.

But seriously? Who in their right mind would give that responsibility to a brain-dead moron who can barely tie his shoes?

Jackie was in disbelief. This changed _everything_. She had spent countless nights thinking, searching, analyzing. Just trying to remember _something _from that night. Because nothing ever added up.

Jackie looked up and saw Kitty flipping through one of those home-improvement magazines for old ladies. She had a blank expression on her face and Jackie assumed Kitty wasn't even paying attention to the pages in front of her eyes as she ruffled through them.

"What do you think is going to happen now?" Jackie was apprehensive about talking. Seeing Kitty upset made her almost...scared. But the words out of her mouth could not be taken back, like many things in Jackie's life.

Kitty snapped out of her daze. She sighed.

She set down her magazine slowly. "I don't know, sweetie. Drugs change everything, and Eric could...he could be easily proved innocent."

Jackie looked down and thought for a second. She rubbed her neck and sighed. Things just kept on getting more confusing.

As she smoothed down her crinkled, blue hospital gown, Jackie was disgusted with herself to realize she somewhat _wanted _Eric to be innocent.

She looked at her surrogate mother. "So, are you going to report him?"

Kitty sighed again. "I'm not sure. This has been very hard for me to figure out, hun. And this..this..._revelation _just made everything harder."

Kitty paused and squinted on the ground.

"Do _you _want me to report him?" Kitty would do it in a heartbeat if she knew Jackie wanted her to, because she _knew _Jackie didn't have the heart to report it herself.

Jackie had told Kitty about the promise she made to Eric that night, the promise that the rape would stay between her and Eric. Kitty had wanted to bless that girl's soul when she found out that the bossy but sweet brunette wanted to keep her word with a man who had raped her.

There was another fact as well. Kitty had a motherly instinct. And she had a feeling that maybe, just _maybe, _Jackie didn't _want _Eric to be in trouble.

Jackie thought about her answer to Kitty's question. She looked up from her constant gaze at the laminate on the floor as she came up with a decision that affirmed Kitty's beliefs.

Jackie licked her lips nervously. "Mrs. Forman, if I wanted to see Eric in jail, I would've let it happen a long time ago."

* * *

"Has she said anything, _anything_, about the incident at Anthony's party?"

Kelso was pacing around the age-old basement in his police uniform with a notepad in hand.

Hyde shifted in his seat. "No. I mean, she was acting weird, like, _really weird. _But...I don't know, man. I just...damnit Kelso can you stop pacing? You're giving me a damn headache." Hyde rubbed his temples profusely.

Kelso stopped abruptly and moved to the arm of the couch next to where Eric was seated. "Ok, fine. Just answer the questions buddy, and we won't hurt you." Kelso shined his flashlight into Hyde's eyes.

Hyde grabbed the flashlight out of Kelso's hand and threw it into the washer behind him. Stubble was beginning to grow on his pale chin. It was apparent he hadn't been shaving. It was safe to say the same thing about showering. A manly stench seemed to be coming from Hyde, and his eyes looked like he hadn't had a good night sleep in days.

Hyde continued. "She barely talked to me. And when she _did..._God. She was like a bitch and a girl on her period and a pregnant women all mixed up into one. And, uh. She wouldn't...y'know. Do it. With me."

Fez and Kelso looked at each other before bursting into laughter.

Eric turned his face at the two men and sighed, "Seriously. You guys. Not now."

Fez and Kelso looked in shock at their usually easy-going friend. Then they stopped.

"Alright. Anything else?" Kelso said, as he jotted everything down on the paper.

Hyde though for a moment. Should he tell the guys about the blood the one time they did try to have sex? Was it relevant?

Hyde squeezed his eyes shut behind his amber glasses as the memories overwhelmed him.

He manned up and decided to tell them. He wanted to do everything he could to save his girl. Everything helps, right?

He sat up in his seat. "Uh, yeah. When we...when we _did _try to...have sex, um. She bled. A lot."

Everybody got silent. Kelso just sat looking at Hyde in disbelief. Fez looked at the ground. And Eric began to have tears well in his eyes.

'I did this,' Eric thought. 'I ruined everything.'

Kelso cleared his throat awkwardly and went back to his notepad. "Okay. I'll, uh, save this and do some more investigating."

Suddenly, the door opened. Hyde looked up to see Donna in the doorway. Donna caught Hyde's eye and they looked away awkwardly. They hadn't forgotten about that night.

"What are you guys doing?" The redhead asked.

"Just trying to get some information from Hyde, see if he knows anything," Kelso said. He began his walk of authority again from the couch arm towards his usual seat by the door. "I'm going to make sure this cheeky bastard never hurts anyone again!" In his excitement, Kelso threw his notebook across the room and sighed as he stood up to go get it.

Donna went towards the couch, but saw Eric sitting on it. She moved towards the freezer, but she realized Hyde's chair was right by it.

Donna was content with standing for now.

Eric could not dim his curiosity. He accepted that he might be sentenced to jail for life, but he wanted to know how things would turn out.

"Um, Kelso? Are you going try to arrest the guy?" Eric asked nervously. Donna shot him a look. She too looked like she had been stressing at a time when her mind was supposed to be shut off. She closed her eyes and looked up at the ceiling, trying to compose herself.

_Composure. _Everyone needed a little bit nowadays.

Kelso stood up. "No. Technically, these bastards won't let me do anything unless we have a statement from Jackie that she was, y'know, raped." Kelso couldn't get the r- word out of his mouth.

"What about the doctor? We could just ask him." Fez stated.

"The doctor won't say anything. They can't release information about a patient. We need to get Jackie to report this guy _herself. _That's why we're getting this evidence. Hopefully, we can get enough info, show it to Jackie, and she won't be able to deny it! Then, we'll find this motherfucker and put him in the slammer for good!" Kelso had a huge grin on his face.

Donna burst into tears. Hyde turned in his seat and looked at Donna questioningly. Kelso began to stutter looking for words to comfort Donna. Fez began to wipe tears of his own away.

Eric had a look of disbelief on his face. 'She doesn't want me to go to jail. She still loves me.'

Eric shook away the thoughts with disgust.

Donna sniffed and wiped her face. "Sorry guys. I just...I'm sorry." She sniffed again and regained her composure.

She clapped. "Let's do this! We're gonna do this for Jackie."

Kelso gave a questioning look at Donna's weird behavior. "Yeah. Um...yeah. So, anyway. Hyde. Why don't you try to talk to Jackie tonight and see if you can get anything? Don't be too obvious, man. But one slip out of her mouth and GO IN FOR THE KILL!"

Hyde gave Kelso a strange look and then got serious. "Okay. I'll try."

* * *

"Have you been bleeding?" The doctor asked Jackie.

Jackie looked down. "Occasionally. I, uh. I had sex and..I-"

"You began to bleed?"

"Yes."

The doctor walked towards Jackie on the examination table and looked the young girl into her mismatched eyes. He squinted, examining the girl. He could tell she was ruined. He could tell she was done for.

The doctor thought for a moment and decided to take a seat next to Jackie. Kitty gave him a questioning look, to which the doctor replied with his index finger pointed. _Hang on, just let me try this, _it said.

The doctor looked to the ground while Jackie eyed him suspiciously. Finally the doctor began to speak.

"Jackie-can I call you Jackie?" The doctor did not wait for Jackie to reply. "Don't take this the wrong way, I'm a doctor, not a therapist. But, right now, just listen. Listen to me as a friend. Because I can tell you need one."

The doctor looked up at Kitty, who had a sad smile on her face. "And you too Mother Burkhart." Kitty's smile grew. But she did not correct the doctor. She did not point out that she wasn't Jackie's mother. Because she was.

"I have _no _idea whatsoever why you wouldn't come to the doctor sooner. How long has it been? A year? I know reporting this is hard, but it's important to tell us as soon as possible. As well as other authorities of interest. Like the police." The doctor held his hand up defensively. "You're choice, though. I know how difficult it is for victims to tell others."

Jackie waited.

"But what I also know is this: whoever did this to you, whatever happened that night, it won't go away. It will always stay with you, no matter where you go. No matter who you marry. No mater how happy you are."

Jackie scoffed inside. This guy was supposed to be making her fee better?

"But guess where it's gonna stay, Jackie? Right here." He touched the place above her heart. "Because this right here, this..this _tragedy_, has made you a stronger person. You will come out of this stronger than you have ever imagined. And you won't even realize it."

Jackie looked up through her tears. A smile formed on her face and she was speechless. She looked back at how much she changed and right then and there, she _did _realize it. All the pain, all the trauma-it helped put steel into her soul. It made her wiser.

Her lips trembled. She wanted to kiss that doctor right then and there, despite the fact that she was still a brat at heart and _who on_ earth would ever kiss someone that old and gross?

She searched for words but she found none. The wise man's word took her breath away, and she managed to mouth a thank you before she dropped her head into her hands and cried.

Kitty, amidst all of the wise words, was also a wreck. She couldn't contain herself and jumped up from her seat before wrapping her arms around the man in the lab jacket. "Thank you. Thank you for caring. And thank you for dealing with us. We-especially Jackie- have held a lot in."

The doctor awkwardly patted the woman's back. "I understand."

Kitty removed her arms and the doctor stood up. "Well, guys, I'm going to send these urine samples to the lab. When I come back, I'm going to have to do an examination, see if there's a lot of damage." Jackie cringed. She was scared.

As the doctor walked out Jackie began to speak as her voice regain strength. "By the way, doctor. Maybe I haven't told because I'm strong enough to handle this on my own."

The doctor stopped, door handle in hand. He thought about what to say-should he play 'Professional-Gynecologist' or 'Mr-Know-It-All'? He decided the truth was best.

He opened the door. "I hate to break it to you, Jackie, because you're a nice girl. But that, my friend, is compete bullshit."

* * *

**Dun-du-du-dun! There you have it. An update. Finally. IT'S ALIVE. SHE'S ALIVE. We're all happy. Hopefully. :)**

**Review?**


	20. And One Day This Will Fade Away

**Hey guys! This chapter has been worked on for a really long time! I hope you enjoy it! Lots of drama.**

**This chapter is based off a lyric from A Day To Be Alone, by One Less Reason**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything but the plot/story.**

* * *

'Think,' he said. 'THINK.'

Steven Hyde rubbed his head furiously as he tried to clear all the madness in his head. He dropped the notebook on the table in front of him and put the end of his pencil in his mouth.

So far, he had 13 names of the people he remembered at the party last night, not including the gang itself.

Dammit. He felt miserable. His joints ached, his beard was too scratchy for his liking, and he had a headache that seemed to have enough pressure to blow up his brain.

He took off his glasses and leaned back into the couch. What the hell had happened? It seemed like just yesterday when him and the gang were so young and had nothing to worry about.

But rape? No one ever saw that coming.

No one ever thinks it's going to happen to them.

And to Jackie? His girlfriend? The love of his life? Pretty much his soul mate?

What had she done? What was it that was so bad that caused her to be punished?

He scoffed as he realized that it wasn't always about who deserved what. Everyone was playing the sick game of life. Everyone rolled the dice.

And everyone had a chance at losing.

Someone had to anyway.

He laughed at himself, worrying so much about Jackie when he was the antagonist. He _fucked _another girl. A girl that was supposed to be Jackie's best friend. At least, she used to be.

He wanted to tell Jackie one day. Maybe one day, when they got married-

Wait...what? Marriage? Hyde laughed again. He had too many fuck-ups to think about before he thought about marriage.

So, maybe not when they got married, but...in the future. One day, he'd tell her. He'd throw his glasses on the ground and get on his knees and beg for her forgiveness, even if it was totally un-Zen and he'd be breaking every promise he had ever made to himself.

But after what Jackie went through, she deserved some goddamn truth.

* * *

Hyde woke up as he heard the door of his apartment open. He jumped off the couch and stuffed the notebook with his "find-out-who-the-hell-raped-Jackie" blueprint under him. He smoothed his hair and sat on the couch.

Jackie tiredly walked up the steps, glanced at Hyde, and walked to the fridge. She got a glass of water.

It was funny. Now that he looked at Jackie, and he realized someone had raped her, he could see the pain in her eyes. It all began to make sense. Every little thing she did made sense. The way she closed her eyes every few seconds, as if she was trying to control herself from breaking down. The way she bit her lip, as if she really needed to tell someone something.

The way she dragged herself slowly, as if she had no purpose in the world.

It was then that Hyde began to wonder if she even did.

Hyde cleared his throat and pushed his sunglasses up to his face. He walked to the kitchen and stood behind Jackie.

"Hey."

Jackie jumped and choked on the water she had in her mouth. She grabbed onto the sink as she coughed from her jump of surprise.

Hyde's eyes widened behind his glasses as he grabbed Jackie's shoulders.

"Sorry, sorry. Are you good?" Hyde licked his lips and looked to the side impatiently, mad at himself. He already scared her and he hadn't even talked to her yet.

Jackie closed her eyes. She flinched at everything nowadays. Everyone and everything was going to hurt her in this world, as far as she was concerned.

Jackie turned around, gave Hyde a dirty look and finished her water.

Hyde released his hands from Jackie's shoulders. "How was your day?" He rolled his eyes at himself. He didn't even sound like his regular self. _How was your day? _What was this, Happy Days?

Jackie blinked rapidly, looking around the room as she turned around to face Hyde. "It was good." Jackie paused awkwardly. "Thank you."

Hyde looked down and grabbed Jackie's hand, leading her to the living room. Jackie seemed stiff as he sat her down and followed her in her actions.

Jackie closed her eyes again. "Steven, I really would like to go to bed."

Hyde looked at his girlfriend. His chest hurt as he watched their relationship deteriorate. His mind flashed through all the memories. From him getting arrested for her, to him kissing her on her dad's Lincoln, to them dancing at the Valentine's Day dance, to them making love for the first time.

To them fighting more and more often.

To Jackie not wanting to talk.

To Hyde feeling empty.

To both of them feeling lost.

Hyde rubbed his eyes as he was rejected again. He just wanted to connect with her. It wasn't very manly, but honestly, he couldn't give a fuck. He wanted her to be his again. He wanted to talk to her.

He grabbed her hands. "Jackie. Please. I just want to talk with you."

Jackie began to pull away as she moved her hands from his. "I said I'm tired. Tomorrow." Jackie stood up as she walked to their bedroom, turning her face as she hid her tears from her boyfriend.

She closed the door and locked it, collapsing on the bed. The doctor's phone call was still ringing in her head.

_'Jackie, there's not much we can do. We don't know if you'll have trouble. Maybe you won't have any trouble at all. But the chances are high.'_

_'So...I..." Jackie stuttered. 'Doctor..I can't..?' She couldn't get the words out as she clenched the phone._

_The doctor paused and finished her sentence. 'Jackie, the damage to your cervix is severe. There is a chance you won't be able to have kids.'_

The hits just kept on coming.

* * *

Jackie kept driving. She kept her eyes on the road and she kept driving. The speed of the car was at the limit, but she kept driving. Maybe it was the anger that made her foot press a little bit harder on the gas than she needed to. But it was okay.

Jackie kept driving.

She reached her destination. The destination where her car took her most of the time.

The big house in Point Place with the basketball hoop in the driveway.

She turned the car off. She took the keys out of the ignition. SHe knew who would be inside the house.

And that's exactly what she wanted.

She was mad. Hell, she was fucking _furious. _It all came down to this didn't it? She kept her mouth shut about that night. She did that for him. She did him a fucking _favor. _

And perhaps, she did a favor for herself. She wanted to close her eyes and cover her ears and shake her head and pretend that it never happened. So she kept her mouth shut and she put on a fucking smile and everyone was fucking happy.

And she made sure Donna kept her mouth shut, too.

But now, she wanted answers. No, she didn't want them. She needed them. She couldn't take it anymore. She tried talking to him a few days ago, but he was a blubbering mess.

She smoothed her hair as she walked into the Forman's house. 'You'd think he was the one that got raped.' Jackie scoffed.

There was another man in the kitchen. It wasn't who she was looking for, but she was glad to see him. It was basically her father. Red Forman.

Red Forman took a sip of is beer and leaned back, staring at the wall in front of him. Walked towards him.

"Hey, Mr. Forman."

Red looked up and saw the pretty girl that had added volume to his house for over ten years. He grunted and nodded his head. He wanted to pat the char next to him and tell her to sit, tell her he wanted someone to talk to. Just a chat.

But he was the older version of the pretty girl's boyfriend. He contained his emotions. Red always liked that about the kid.

However, now he wished that he had the balls to tell that girl that he missed her, and he loved her, and she was the closest thing he ever had to a daughter.

Even though he _had _a daughter.

He wanted to tell her he felt sick to his stomach every day. He wanted to tell her that he felt like a failure as a father.

He wanted to tell her he couldn't even sit in the same room as his son anymore.

As he watched her walk out, he grunted again.

"Don't break anything."

Jackie smiled.

* * *

Jackie found him. The sandy-haired scrawny boy was sitting up in his old room. He was laying o his back looking at the ceiling, arms under his head. He looked up as Jackie opened the door.

His eyes widened, and he sat up. Eric cleared his throat. He gestured for her to come in. He pulled out the chair next to him.

"Hey, Jackie. Uh, come sit."

Jackie set down her purse and sat daintily on the chair.

"I wanted to talk to you, Eric." She kept the anger inside of her. He would never see it coming. She almost couldn't _wait _to tell him the news. Tell him the news of how he ruined her life.

She wanted to see him in shock, then she wanted to see him cry. See him cry like how she did almost every day.

Eric looked around awkwardly. "Yeah, sure. Anything."

Jackie almost smiled. "I went to the doctor's yesterday."

Oh no. He didn't want to know what she was about to say. Did she get something? Did _he _get something? He knew the news wasn't good.

He bit his lip and waited.

"And," Jackie took a deep breath. She came for revenge, but it was hard actually saying the words out loud.

"And they told me.." Jackie swallowed. She rubbed her face gently. Eric looked at her tired face. She had aged.

Then next breath she let out was shaky. He moved closer to her. He could barely hear her soft voice.

"The damage to the cervix was severe. I might not be able to have a baby." She felt sick to her stomach. The desire for vengeance was gone as she saw the man she grew up with break down.

It hit him hard. His eyes widened before he put his hand over his mouth and cried into it. He wasn't acting like how a man should, but he didn't care. He looked at her.

He did it to her. He really fucked up her life.

She saw the pain and she broke down too. She didn't care about hurting him anymore. They cried together in a theoretical nod to each other: _Yeah, both of our lives suck._

Eric breathed in. He looked at the teary brunette and reached for her hand. "I...Jackie I'm so sorry. I am truly sorry." He got of the bed and got on his knees in front of her.

Suddenly, his memory took over. He remembered when he got on his knees in front of Donna so long ago, when she first found out that Jackie wasn't consenting with Eric having sex with her.

He repeated the actions of so long ago and got in front of her and put her hand on his.

He whispered. "I'm so sorry, Jackie."

* * *

She gripped onto the receiver of the phone. She thought she heard a creak from the hallway outside of her bedroom.

She listened closely, almost hanging up the phone in fear someone was near by. She waited to see if anyone would walk in. No one did.

She kept the phone to her ear.

Someone answered. She didn't pay attention to what the person said. She looked blankly at the wall in front of her.

The wall got blurry, and her cheeks got wet.

She realized she would have to say something, as the woman on the other line was growing impatient with her "Hello?"'s.

She wiped the tears from her eyes, as she realized this was the hardest thing she would ever have to do in her life.

She coughed. "I'd like to report a rape."

She paused. This time, she let the tears flow.

"My son. It was my son."

* * *

Jackie let go of his hand. She basically threw it off. She looked up at Eric, who was now standing up. What in the hell was she doing? She was holding the hand of the man who raped her? She was a beautiful, strong, woman. She would not forgive.

She would never forgive.

Before she knew what she was doing, she found herself standing up, and pounding her little, dainty fists against Eric's chest as she cried, "Why? Why did you do this to me? What did I do to deserve this? I knew you hated me, but I thought you knew I was you're friend! I never thought you hated me this much!"

Eric was at a loss for words. His mind in shock at what he was hearing from the one he had always called The Devil. "Jackie...I-"

She cut him off. Her brown eyes red, puffy, glistening with small tears as they made their way down her cheeks, spilling onto her collarbone. It was then that Eric realized that Jackie was truly vulnerable and fragile than she had always lead people to believe. He wanted to run away. From Jackie. Shame flooded him. He wouldn't do that again.

Jackie stopped. She remembered the conversation she heard the day before yesterday.

_"Hey, that reminds me! Remember the PCP at Anthony's party?"_

_"You don't remember? Hyde gave it to us to put in Forman's drink!" Kelso gave a goofy grin._

_"Ah yes! The poor fucker had no chance!"_

_Kelso giggled. "I accidentally put eight doses instead of two."_

Jackie stopped her assault on Eric. She stalked to the phone in his room.

Eric looked at Jackie confused. He knew women changed their mind a lot, but this had to be some kind of record.

No, this was no time for jokes.

Jackie dialed the phone. "Yes, can I speak to a nurse. Oh, yeah, okay. Um, I have a question."

Eric waited, the confusion still etched on his face.

Jackie played with the wire cord. "What are the side affects of PCP?" This was important. This could change everything.

Jackie snapped her fingers at Eric. She made a motion signaling she wanted a pen and a paper. Eric jumped up and ran to his closet, smiling as he saw the bossy Jackie back for a split second.

He set the pad and pen in front of her on the table. Jackie wrote.

She out her pen down. Jackie turned around and looked at Eric. She looked back towards the table and mumbled something into the phone that Eric didn't quite hear.

She got her response and her eyes widened. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

Jackie hung up the phone. She turned towards Eric.

Her eyes were filled with tears.

Tears of relief.


End file.
